Ep 43. To the Future

Aaaahhh!!! So much to say, and so little time. Well, let me start with last weekend. I went to Tokyo Disneyland. On a public holiday. Because that was the only day the three of us who went all had off. How was it? Fun...fantastic...and ultimately a little underwhelming compared to Disneyland California. A little back story: I have been to Disneyland many times. Even though there may be many years between visits, I still remember it fairly well (this is especially true of the horrors that some call roller coasters. I do not like roller coaster). The amazing thing about Disneyland California is how distinct all of the different sections feel. From the ground to the sky, each place feels distinct. The New Orleans section really feels like I imagine southern Louisiana to feel, the old west section feels dusty and wild, and tomorrow land feels like an alien society built a space port to invade earth (their leaders disguised themselves as dogs. One went insane. That's why they call him Goofy. The other just wants to go home, that's why they call him Pluto [this looked so much better in my head]). Before I go on, I will note that everything in Japan is about saving space. The wide open acreage of nearly abandoned states--like Montana, of Wyoming--just don't exist over here. So, we must make do. That is the only reason I can conceive of having a theme park with a myriad of distinct locals, each building lovingly recreated, only to cover the entire ground in green cement. What happened to the dusty roads of Adventure Land, or the cobbled streets of the Bayou?
Still, qualms aside, this was Disneyland through and through. The rides were still good, if a tad shortened in places (only one drop of terror in Pirates? No twisty-turny rapids of doom in Splash Mountain?) and the magic still fills the air.

Yay castle!

The animatronics look amazing, and just look at that castle. That is amazing forced perspective to make that thing look freaking huge, when it's really not that big. Not to mention the fact that they charge you copious amounts of money for the privilege of going to the park and spending whatever cash you had left (which, in Tokyo Disneyland, is quite a bit because the tickets are half those in California).
But enough about the park, let's talk about the rides. For some perspective, this is the board for the line for Splash Mountain fifty minutes after the park opened:

Fastpass: 12:00. Standby: 130 minutes

The park has only been open for fifty minutes, and the standby line is over two hours long. That would be unheard of in California on all but the busiest days (and this was not busy). And that wasn't even the worst times that we saw. The worst were, "Pooh's Honey Hunt" and (the new) "Monster's Inc Ride and Go Seek." How bad were these? The former was approaching three hours by the time we passed it at 9:30, and hour and a half after the park opened. Meanwhile, the latter did sometimes dip below 100 minutes, but spent most of the day looking like this:

They ran out of numbers!

And there were still people getting into these lines! True, these were not as bad as Disney Sea over New Years, but it's still a bit nuts.
Anyway, we got into the park and got right onto Pirates (wait time: five minutes. Why not?) And enjoyed ourselves. We then completed our journey to get fast passes for Splash Mountain. Our next stop, next door to Splash Mountain, was the Haunted Mansion, which only had a Standby Time of thirty minute. The line moved fast (because they were expanding it as we were going through) so we got a good view of everything. The ride itself was fun, and about as I remembered it. Next to Haunted Mansion was an Alice in Wonderland restaurant, followed by the Small World ride.
In Disneyland California, it's a Small World is on the other side from the Haunted Mansion. You enter outside, and get a delightful ride through a tunnel where small, soulless eyed children sing of world peace. In Japan, this joyful ride through the dreams of children is situated next to their nightmares. Somehow, this made it less terrifying. To keep all of those bad dreams out, you now enter on the inside, in a room surrounded by a mural of many societies from around the world.

I think that's Italy and...I don't know

It's about as one would expect. We then passed Pooh's Honey Hunt...and learned just how insane Tokyo Disneyland can be. Next stop, Star Tours (ibid) and then over to the Fast Pass line for Monsters Inc. It was 11:30am. I was the only one who got a Fast Pass, because the time on the card was for 8:45pm. No flipping way. We decided to skip that ride this time.
We then decided to go for lunch. In California, Disneyland has been invaded by...something (hippies? hipsters?) and has decided to offer such great modern things as Vegetarian Meals. There are not a lot of options (maybe one per restaurant) but they are there. Not so in Tokyo Disneyland, oh no, here they preserve the ideals of the forefathers and put meat on everything. Want a cheese pizza? Go ahead, so long as you don't mind added bacon. Want a nice salad? OK, with a few shrimp. Needless to say, lunch was hard. However, after lunch we got to watch on of Disneyland's parades. It was supposedly a dance show, but it was really an excuse to hose patrons down. I do not fault them for this, except for the fact that I am not too fond about getting wet. However, it did have some nice eye candy, so that was a plus.
After lunch and the show, we went to Splash Mountain. As previously mentioned, I am not too fond of roller coasters. As also noted, the rides here can be a bit shorter. What this meant was that I was in a constant state of terror, bracing for the coming rush of death, only to have it be a gentle, kiddy, "wheee." Until the end. That dreaded part. The thing that you can see from the outside. I must admit, I was trying my hardest to make it happy. I was trying to smile, and put on a happy face, and I was all ready to go, and then... we stopped. At the top of death, we paused because some nitwit up ahead was taking too long to get out of the ride. And we waited there, for a good fifteen seconds, during which my attempted cool turned into and, "I'm done with this" moment, and the dread slowly set in. The end result is a precious moment that I will treasure forever.

I hate you all

Believe me, it's better with a higher resolution. That's why I bought it (plus, it says Tokyo Disneyland on the back).
Anyway, I tire of Disneyland, so I will wrap this up quick: we did a couple more rides, went shopping, and then left. We were there for eight hours. We all slept very well that night. Here is our picture at the end of the day.

Happy together

And yes, I did wear that hat all the way home. And yes, it embarrassed my traveling companions to no end.
Really fast (I'm getting tired): this weekend. Yesterday, I was, "cleaning" my apartment and decided to take a break and go for a walk in the fields. I left my phone behind. I am glad of this fact. It was a sunny, warm day, so I lathered up on sunscreen, and set out to for an adventure. And there I was, in the middle of the field, and I hear it. *Rumble rumble rumble*
     "Oh dear," I thought, "I hope that's not what I think it is..." FLASH *rumble rumble rumble* "I am in the middle of a field, by myself, in a thunder storm. I am going to die, aren't I?" *yemble yemble yemble* So I set off towards my aparto, hoping to survive, and finding that, apparently, I was not the only loon in town. Rather, I was joined by people who were running, driving, and in one case, perched atop a metal lightning rod (bike) peddling furiously to survive. Anyway, I made it to town, only to be hit by the first few raindrops. It's about ten minutes from the fields to my apartment, during which I turned from a dry, happy child into this:

Who wants a hug?

I had considered going to the supermarket to get lunch, but then I realized that my shirt was clinging to me in indecent ways. Ergo, I stopped home to change my shirt. On the plus side, I incidentally mopped my floors.
As for today, I cleaned my apartment and discovered (after about 11 months of living here) that my couch folds out into a bed. I also watched the new, "Godzilla" movie. I am sure that many will ask me what I thought. People made weird decisions (really? Taking cover behind a car to hide from a creature that's taller than a sky scraper? Why not have an ant hide behind a stick), science was thrown out the window ("I am a scientist and I believe this!" And no other scientist asks why...), and for a movie about giant monster fights there was a dearth of giant monster fights. Also, Godzilla looked like he'd gotten a little out of shape in the years since his last fight. So, what did I think of it? It was absolutely amazingly good. Why? Because it was, "Godzilla"...in Japan. It was my first Godzilla movie, and I wouldn't have cared if it was terrible. I saw my first Godzilla movie, in Japan. This is something that not everyone will understand, but those who do will really get what I mean here.
Afterwards, I went to lunch with some friends at a burger place (I had an Avacado-Cheese sandwich, which is exactly what it sounds like). On the way back to the train, I saw this:

Yukata and others

And that's the thing about Japan. People over here are very modern, and usually dress like people do in the west (with some noticeable exceptions). But there is still about 2000 years worth of tradition, and it is a tradition the has stayed relevant into the modern era. I think that it is safe to say that this is a kind of relation to the past that we do not have in the states, which have undergone so many changes in the last two-hundred plus years that most of those who lived at our inception would have a hard time finding anything relevant to identify with. But I would argue that such a change was already recognizable by Van Buren (random choice, don't ask why) and was certainly recognizable by the end of the civil war. But I digress. Even though Japan has changed a lot in the past 2000 years, there are still aspects that might have been recognizable to those at least from half that distance if not more. There is a humility in holding upon your shoulders the weight of a history reaching back to the time of Caesars, and it still permeates Japanese society today.
Now, three quick stories:
1) In my adult classes, we always have a conversation, and for many conversations, we remind students to please remember their eye contact. So I decided to have fun with that in one of my classes. So, we got through to the reading part (three students in this class) and I pair up two students, pair myself up with the third, and before I can get a word in edgewise the other two go. I try to stop them, but they just keep going. So, I turn to the third, hold up my palmed fake eyeballs (a la "Pans Labyrinth") and ask the student to please remember eye contact. And the student loses it, laughing so hard that ze can't even speak. The other two stop what they're doing and just stare, and then start laughing equally as hard as I pull the same stunt on them. And, you know what? It worked.
2) So, I'm teaching my last class on Saturday, and I'm feeling a little tired. So, I pull out the intro poster for the kids class that I'm teaching, and normally I say, "this is Blah, this is Yadda, they're in Whoosh, and they say bliddle." But I want today to be different, so I ask the students, "Who's this?" One of the students gives me the correct answer right away, but while ze is doing so two of the students are speaking in Japanese, and the only word that I can understand is shampoo. So I ask them, "Is this Shampoo?" And the class loses it. What makes this extra special is that one of the students had just taken a big gulp of water. Immediately ze slaps zis fingers over zer mouth and tilts zer head back. Water goes everywhere as the student nearly starts choking from laughing so hard. Gotta love a good joke.
3) This is more an idea than a story. So, while I was standing in line at the concessions today, I was looking at their wares and had an idea. If I ever open up a movie theater or a fast food restaurant, I am going to name my sizes, "Fun, Medium, Large." Why? Well, I'm sure the cleverer (or most ill begotten) people can figure it out, and I'd just like to say to those who do get it that I would love to be surprised by hearing this some day.
Anyway, this has been another Adventure in the Austentatious. If you liked it, tell your friends; if you hated it tell your enemies; and if you don't care either way then tell everyone. Good night.