Ep 43. To the Future

Aaaahhh!!! So much to say, and so little time. Well, let me start with last weekend. I went to Tokyo Disneyland. On a public holiday. Because that was the only day the three of us who went all had off. How was it? Fun...fantastic...and ultimately a little underwhelming compared to Disneyland California. A little back story: I have been to Disneyland many times. Even though there may be many years between visits, I still remember it fairly well (this is especially true of the horrors that some call roller coasters. I do not like roller coaster). The amazing thing about Disneyland California is how distinct all of the different sections feel. From the ground to the sky, each place feels distinct. The New Orleans section really feels like I imagine southern Louisiana to feel, the old west section feels dusty and wild, and tomorrow land feels like an alien society built a space port to invade earth (their leaders disguised themselves as dogs. One went insane. That's why they call him Goofy. The other just wants to go home, that's why they call him Pluto [this looked so much better in my head]). Before I go on, I will note that everything in Japan is about saving space. The wide open acreage of nearly abandoned states--like Montana, of Wyoming--just don't exist over here. So, we must make do. That is the only reason I can conceive of having a theme park with a myriad of distinct locals, each building lovingly recreated, only to cover the entire ground in green cement. What happened to the dusty roads of Adventure Land, or the cobbled streets of the Bayou?
Still, qualms aside, this was Disneyland through and through. The rides were still good, if a tad shortened in places (only one drop of terror in Pirates? No twisty-turny rapids of doom in Splash Mountain?) and the magic still fills the air.

Yay castle!

The animatronics look amazing, and just look at that castle. That is amazing forced perspective to make that thing look freaking huge, when it's really not that big. Not to mention the fact that they charge you copious amounts of money for the privilege of going to the park and spending whatever cash you had left (which, in Tokyo Disneyland, is quite a bit because the tickets are half those in California).
But enough about the park, let's talk about the rides. For some perspective, this is the board for the line for Splash Mountain fifty minutes after the park opened:

Fastpass: 12:00. Standby: 130 minutes

The park has only been open for fifty minutes, and the standby line is over two hours long. That would be unheard of in California on all but the busiest days (and this was not busy). And that wasn't even the worst times that we saw. The worst were, "Pooh's Honey Hunt" and (the new) "Monster's Inc Ride and Go Seek." How bad were these? The former was approaching three hours by the time we passed it at 9:30, and hour and a half after the park opened. Meanwhile, the latter did sometimes dip below 100 minutes, but spent most of the day looking like this:

They ran out of numbers!

And there were still people getting into these lines! True, these were not as bad as Disney Sea over New Years, but it's still a bit nuts.
Anyway, we got into the park and got right onto Pirates (wait time: five minutes. Why not?) And enjoyed ourselves. We then completed our journey to get fast passes for Splash Mountain. Our next stop, next door to Splash Mountain, was the Haunted Mansion, which only had a Standby Time of thirty minute. The line moved fast (because they were expanding it as we were going through) so we got a good view of everything. The ride itself was fun, and about as I remembered it. Next to Haunted Mansion was an Alice in Wonderland restaurant, followed by the Small World ride.
In Disneyland California, it's a Small World is on the other side from the Haunted Mansion. You enter outside, and get a delightful ride through a tunnel where small, soulless eyed children sing of world peace. In Japan, this joyful ride through the dreams of children is situated next to their nightmares. Somehow, this made it less terrifying. To keep all of those bad dreams out, you now enter on the inside, in a room surrounded by a mural of many societies from around the world.

I think that's Italy and...I don't know

It's about as one would expect. We then passed Pooh's Honey Hunt...and learned just how insane Tokyo Disneyland can be. Next stop, Star Tours (ibid) and then over to the Fast Pass line for Monsters Inc. It was 11:30am. I was the only one who got a Fast Pass, because the time on the card was for 8:45pm. No flipping way. We decided to skip that ride this time.
We then decided to go for lunch. In California, Disneyland has been invaded by...something (hippies? hipsters?) and has decided to offer such great modern things as Vegetarian Meals. There are not a lot of options (maybe one per restaurant) but they are there. Not so in Tokyo Disneyland, oh no, here they preserve the ideals of the forefathers and put meat on everything. Want a cheese pizza? Go ahead, so long as you don't mind added bacon. Want a nice salad? OK, with a few shrimp. Needless to say, lunch was hard. However, after lunch we got to watch on of Disneyland's parades. It was supposedly a dance show, but it was really an excuse to hose patrons down. I do not fault them for this, except for the fact that I am not too fond about getting wet. However, it did have some nice eye candy, so that was a plus.
After lunch and the show, we went to Splash Mountain. As previously mentioned, I am not too fond of roller coasters. As also noted, the rides here can be a bit shorter. What this meant was that I was in a constant state of terror, bracing for the coming rush of death, only to have it be a gentle, kiddy, "wheee." Until the end. That dreaded part. The thing that you can see from the outside. I must admit, I was trying my hardest to make it happy. I was trying to smile, and put on a happy face, and I was all ready to go, and then... we stopped. At the top of death, we paused because some nitwit up ahead was taking too long to get out of the ride. And we waited there, for a good fifteen seconds, during which my attempted cool turned into and, "I'm done with this" moment, and the dread slowly set in. The end result is a precious moment that I will treasure forever.

I hate you all

Believe me, it's better with a higher resolution. That's why I bought it (plus, it says Tokyo Disneyland on the back).
Anyway, I tire of Disneyland, so I will wrap this up quick: we did a couple more rides, went shopping, and then left. We were there for eight hours. We all slept very well that night. Here is our picture at the end of the day.

Happy together

And yes, I did wear that hat all the way home. And yes, it embarrassed my traveling companions to no end.
Really fast (I'm getting tired): this weekend. Yesterday, I was, "cleaning" my apartment and decided to take a break and go for a walk in the fields. I left my phone behind. I am glad of this fact. It was a sunny, warm day, so I lathered up on sunscreen, and set out to for an adventure. And there I was, in the middle of the field, and I hear it. *Rumble rumble rumble*
     "Oh dear," I thought, "I hope that's not what I think it is..." FLASH *rumble rumble rumble* "I am in the middle of a field, by myself, in a thunder storm. I am going to die, aren't I?" *yemble yemble yemble* So I set off towards my aparto, hoping to survive, and finding that, apparently, I was not the only loon in town. Rather, I was joined by people who were running, driving, and in one case, perched atop a metal lightning rod (bike) peddling furiously to survive. Anyway, I made it to town, only to be hit by the first few raindrops. It's about ten minutes from the fields to my apartment, during which I turned from a dry, happy child into this:

Who wants a hug?

I had considered going to the supermarket to get lunch, but then I realized that my shirt was clinging to me in indecent ways. Ergo, I stopped home to change my shirt. On the plus side, I incidentally mopped my floors.
As for today, I cleaned my apartment and discovered (after about 11 months of living here) that my couch folds out into a bed. I also watched the new, "Godzilla" movie. I am sure that many will ask me what I thought. People made weird decisions (really? Taking cover behind a car to hide from a creature that's taller than a sky scraper? Why not have an ant hide behind a stick), science was thrown out the window ("I am a scientist and I believe this!" And no other scientist asks why...), and for a movie about giant monster fights there was a dearth of giant monster fights. Also, Godzilla looked like he'd gotten a little out of shape in the years since his last fight. So, what did I think of it? It was absolutely amazingly good. Why? Because it was, "Godzilla"...in Japan. It was my first Godzilla movie, and I wouldn't have cared if it was terrible. I saw my first Godzilla movie, in Japan. This is something that not everyone will understand, but those who do will really get what I mean here.
Afterwards, I went to lunch with some friends at a burger place (I had an Avacado-Cheese sandwich, which is exactly what it sounds like). On the way back to the train, I saw this:

Yukata and others

And that's the thing about Japan. People over here are very modern, and usually dress like people do in the west (with some noticeable exceptions). But there is still about 2000 years worth of tradition, and it is a tradition the has stayed relevant into the modern era. I think that it is safe to say that this is a kind of relation to the past that we do not have in the states, which have undergone so many changes in the last two-hundred plus years that most of those who lived at our inception would have a hard time finding anything relevant to identify with. But I would argue that such a change was already recognizable by Van Buren (random choice, don't ask why) and was certainly recognizable by the end of the civil war. But I digress. Even though Japan has changed a lot in the past 2000 years, there are still aspects that might have been recognizable to those at least from half that distance if not more. There is a humility in holding upon your shoulders the weight of a history reaching back to the time of Caesars, and it still permeates Japanese society today.
Now, three quick stories:
1) In my adult classes, we always have a conversation, and for many conversations, we remind students to please remember their eye contact. So I decided to have fun with that in one of my classes. So, we got through to the reading part (three students in this class) and I pair up two students, pair myself up with the third, and before I can get a word in edgewise the other two go. I try to stop them, but they just keep going. So, I turn to the third, hold up my palmed fake eyeballs (a la "Pans Labyrinth") and ask the student to please remember eye contact. And the student loses it, laughing so hard that ze can't even speak. The other two stop what they're doing and just stare, and then start laughing equally as hard as I pull the same stunt on them. And, you know what? It worked.
2) So, I'm teaching my last class on Saturday, and I'm feeling a little tired. So, I pull out the intro poster for the kids class that I'm teaching, and normally I say, "this is Blah, this is Yadda, they're in Whoosh, and they say bliddle." But I want today to be different, so I ask the students, "Who's this?" One of the students gives me the correct answer right away, but while ze is doing so two of the students are speaking in Japanese, and the only word that I can understand is shampoo. So I ask them, "Is this Shampoo?" And the class loses it. What makes this extra special is that one of the students had just taken a big gulp of water. Immediately ze slaps zis fingers over zer mouth and tilts zer head back. Water goes everywhere as the student nearly starts choking from laughing so hard. Gotta love a good joke.
3) This is more an idea than a story. So, while I was standing in line at the concessions today, I was looking at their wares and had an idea. If I ever open up a movie theater or a fast food restaurant, I am going to name my sizes, "Fun, Medium, Large." Why? Well, I'm sure the cleverer (or most ill begotten) people can figure it out, and I'd just like to say to those who do get it that I would love to be surprised by hearing this some day.
Anyway, this has been another Adventure in the Austentatious. If you liked it, tell your friends; if you hated it tell your enemies; and if you don't care either way then tell everyone. Good night.

Ep 42: Ooooh, aaaaah

Ooooh, I feel like a princess. Why? Because yesterday I went to a festival. There was food, dancing, and fun sights...and I'm going to need to go through my pictures before I write anything else about it.

Other than that there's really not much for me to talk about. I'm trying a new food tonight (pictures as well). A few months ago, I started to get big cravings for grilled cheese sandwiches, but I think that I might be overdoing it. So, tonight I decided to do something fun. I started by mashing an avocado upon one piece of bread. Then, I added the cheese. On top of the cheese, I added some fresh tomato slices. Then, to top it all off, I added another piece of bread with a little butter on one side and some peanut butter on the other side. Then I grilled it up, heated up some tomato soup, and voila: a delicious (and filling) sandwich. Yum.
So, I've been thinking about the English language. Specifically, spelling. English spelling is, to put it bluntly, like a group of three year-olds at a type writer. This causes problems for everyone, from natives to learners. So, what could the changes be? Simple, we could make it more phonetic. That fact, however, can cause problems. For one, it can be a lidl hard to understand. Smal werdz look difrent and sum werdz ar speld difrent. Anther issue is that pronunciation varies by region, so any change to spelling would naturally favor one region over anther and, inevitably, would lead to a rather large number of potential spellings of words, destroying the hard work of Webster and the like in the 19th century. Lastly, in terms of comprehension, spellings can do a great job of showing us the difference between homonyms. Take, for example, principle and principal. "The principal's new principle was about stealing. I like the principle." From this example, we can easily tell that the person in question likes the policy. However, if they were spelled the same by a set of rules, "the principle's new principle was about stealing. I like the principle." We have no idea if the speaker in question likes the new policy, or is considering something else. With all of this in mind, while I am sure that English would be easier to learn if, you know, it actually had rules with fewer exceptions than examples (looking at you, "I before E"), it might make it a bit harder to understand.

In terms of weird and funny stories for the week:
In one of my classes, one of the students drew a fetus on the board, and said that it was another student. Middle School students come up with the weirdest insults. Anyway, I realized that I would never get another opportunity like this, so I taught them the word fetus. How could I not?

Ep 41. Two for One

So, as I sit down here to write
I find my light is much less bright
and after I go flip the switch
I find that I then have an itch
And after that I deftly scratch
I wander if a 'mon I'll catch
and so with many things to do
the blog gets left behind, oh shoo...

So, I missed a week (no, say it ent so). That means that this week, I will be doing double duty. That's right, four days of updates instead of two. So, starting in no particular order:

Monday, June 30: For the most part, this was a hermiting day. I did a little cleaning, a little piano playing, a little bit of this, a little bit of that, but on the whole not much. That all changed at the end of the day, when I went out to have dinner with a good friend. Sadly, I got a little lost on the way there (NNNOOOOOOO!!!!) But arrived on time...at the wrong place.
We had agreed to meet on the top floor of a book store. However, unknown to me, there were two different iterations of that book store in Shinjuku. Expletive. However, we eventually met up and made it to the restaurant only a tad later than planned. I will start by saying that it was a very lovely restaurant, both in decor and in food options. That's right, they don't use meat. They do use fish--it's living animal protein, but sure, even in the US some people keep it in a different category--but nothing that you'd find in a kids book on farm animals. The food truly was exquisitely good, as though my taste buds were finally quenched after months of thirst. I had forgotten how good actual vegetarian options can taste.
That's definitely one of the things about Japan that I have noticed. In general the populous has very little imagination when it comes to vegetables. You can boil them, fry them, pickle them, or eat them, but no matter what you do your vegetable will always look like a vegetable. Back in the states, the food fairies have discovered that, although many people like the idea of a vegetarian lifestyle, they don't want to actually give up eating meat. Why? Because some meat tastes good (I would like to note here that, to my tastes, steak always has and always will be absolutely 100% revolting). Which is why America has such amazing things as veggie burgers, veggie corn dogs, and--dare I dream--vegetarian ribs, sans bone to break the teeth. There are even vegetarian restaurants and...well, I should stop thinking about this before I drool any more on my computer.

Monday, July 07(told you no order): Not a lot to say here, just more hermitting. And cleaning. And some doodling. Oh, and I went to see another movie. Normally, going to see a movie on a Monday is an exercise in solitude. The theaters are far from packed, and in general everything is relaxing. Not so, surprisingly, at the first showing of the day. Apparently Monday mornings are the time to go see a movie in Japan. Still, we got seats and enjoyed ourselves as usual. What really surprised me is that almost four months after its initial release, they are still showing Frozen in theaters over here. I get it, this is a fun movie, and I love singing the songs, but dear freaking heebie-jeebiekins people, this is not some fantabulous classic. Like I said, I enjoy that movie immensely and love singing the songs. However, I do have a LAF (Life After Frozen), and I seriously believe that most people will as well.

Sunday, June 29: Not going to lie, this was a bit of a long day. It was really fun, but also really long. I have a friend who works in Akita, far to the north of Tokyo, but she came down to Tokyo for her birthday. As such, I spent the whole day with her. We started at the Pokemon Center, which was as hectic as usual. It was also as fun as usual, with a lot of great nerd stuff. We then had lunch in the park across the street and just...chatted. It's one of the things that I do really miss from the states. Don't get me wrong, I can chat with my Japanese friends, but I always have to enter my, "careful" mode where I have to keep my language relatively simple and free of idioms. It really is amazing how many idioms we use without even realize it, but all are a no-no when talking to someone still learning the language.
After lunch, we went to Ueno zoo. The animals were really active (minus the sun bear, as usual). A penguin was molting, and I must say that nothing is more depressing to look at than a molting penguin. They look absolutely miserable, and itchy, and like they are generally having a good day. Really, I wanted to do nothing more than to go over to him and pluck out all of his little feathers to make him feel better. Less sad, but depressing to look at none the less, was a shedding brown bear. He also looked so sad and kept scratching himself against everything in the cave...ugh! It makes me glad that humans don't go through that.
The animals were very active for the most part. The polar bears and seals were swimming, and a lioness was on a rock roaring at everyone who went by. The most packed place, however, was the tiger enclosure. The tiger was cleaning itself, and had decided that the best place to do so was against the glass of the enclosure. Everyone wanted to get a picture of a tiger licking itself. All of the adults were pushing and shoving to get a view, while all of the children were shouting, "miranai, miranai" (I can't see, I can't see). Thankfully we got out of there quickly, but man what an adventure.
Following the zoo, we went to dinner and met up with some of her friends. We went to a theme restaurant, which are rather popular here in Japan. Basically, it's a restaurant with an interesting decor. Some of the ones that I have heard about are Gundam, Anime, or even Maid restaurants. This one was a hospital jail themed restaurant. This basically means that the restaurant looks filthy, with people eating in cages and all of the servers dressed in medical gear. Inevitably, there was a, "prison break," or an utterly terrifying few minutes. I hate being scared, to the extent that I tend to avoid horror movies with a passion. That being said, on the whole it was enjoyable (even if the pickings were slim. Yay french fries and...More french fries), though I will probably never go back. I even made a new friend; he's a socially awkward introvert, so we naturally got on great. Nothing makes an introvert more talkative than someone who shares their pain.

Sunday June 6 (the last day): So, yesterday was (no surprise after so many people) hermitting until early evening, when I went over to a student's house for dinner. He is one of my kids who went abroad and then came back, so his English is rather good. How this came about was that a couple of weeks ago we had open house lessons, where the parents could come, watch, and see what we do. I was talking with his parents after the lesson, and they invited me over. I must admit, I was very nervous. I have never done anything like this--going to one of my student's houses--and I wasn't sure how to act or dress. I decided that, at least for this first get together, being more formal would be better than casual. I also decided to go with what I knew, so I brought a gift and a thank you card.
The results: I am really hoping that things went well. I might have stayed to long (I don't know), and I might have dressed too formal (ibid), but I just don't know. At the end they asked if I wanted to do this again, and I think that it would be a lot of fun. These are such nice people, and their son is very good in my class and they could all be a very good friends.
The experience: First, their apartment is, incidentally, in the next building over. By American standards, it's fairly small, especially for three people. In fact, back in the states, it would probably be a one-person apartment, or a smaller two person apartment (going off of my sister's apartments). Having said that, I have found that people don't need as much space as most Americans seem to think we do. I am in no way saying that one room for seven people, a la early 20th century America was the way to go, but that I actually think there apartment was a really nice size. And it was a really nice apartment. They have done a great job of decorating it and making it feel really homy. Plus, it has everything a person could possibly need: a small kitchen, a few rooms, a balcony, etc. All in all, I really liked their apartment.
Next, the food. Being a vegetarian in Japan is its own special kind of heck, because of all the many multitude of things that one must watch out for. These people were kind enough to make food that I could actually eat, and all of it was absolutely delicious. American food--though very imaginative in the faux department--is never the most flavorful of culinary delights. This food was all so flavorful and amazingly delicious. Being a foreigner, they were surprised that I don't mind natto (fermented soy beans) too much, though only in small amounts. With so much scrumptious food, I could only try a little bit of everything, but it was all so good I wish that I had the stomach space for more. His mom is such a great cook! I need to learn how to cook more Japanese food.
Lastly, the conversation. We talked about many things. As is expected, they were just curious about me. I was probably a bit more formal than I needed to be (new people always seem to bring out Mr. Manners), but the conversation was really good. I enjoyed hearing about their life and their experience living in a foreign country. I showed them my residency card, and instead of doing the reaction that I mostly get (really? this thing exists?) they showed me theirs from their time abroad. All that I can say is that I really hope that they enjoyed having me over, and that I hope I wasn't too much of a bother on them.
One last note on last night: I decided to go for an evening constitutional. I quickly ran inside to put away my nice shirt, and then dashed outside before it got too late. As I was walking down the "hall" (for lack of a better word) to the stairs, the bushes below suddenly began to move, and shake in a terrifying fashion. Immediately, I froze as a single word popped into my head. Raptors! A few moments later, I peeked over to find the bushes below doing the terrifying tango, yet there were no animals in site. suddenly, a small form shot out of the branches, followed by a couple more. I was right, but off by a few million years worth of evolution. Apparently, my foot falls had disturbed some birds resting in the bushes, causing them to panic and swarm a bit. However, when I returned, I found them bushes immoveable, no matter how much I walked. Why? Well, it clearly wasn't that the bushes were empty, because I could see the little blighters hopping from branch to branch occasionally. No, the issue this time was a cat, who was sitting under the branches, staring at them. I have no idea what transpired next (I secretly believe that they broke out into a musical dance number on the importance of friendship) but it was still the most terrifying thing that I have seen in a while. It also speaks volumes that I have apparently transitioned from thinking, "monsters" to thinking, "raptors" in an event like that.

Well, this has been another adventure in the austentatious. If you liked me, tell your friends; if you hated me, tell your enemies; and if you don't care then tell everyone. And now, good night.