Overall, last week was an effective week. Yes, there were struggles, and yes we had some unexpected events happen (I asked you if you were OK, so why did you pee on the floor?) but for the most part, it went smoother than I expected. Whether or not that's true or more a sign of some residual jet lag remains to be seen.
Speaking of jet lag, I wrote a small poem about it, particularly how it has effected my wake up schedule. Basically, I started out being able to wake up late, and have been waking up earlier every day. I'm not very pleased with most of the poem but the last four lines rather stand out to me:
"It's not that I'm angry
I really don't mind
as the time I wake up
crawls slowly behind."
I just really like the rhythm that I put into those four lines. Something about it just sort of works for me. Anyway...
As I'm writing this, I begin to hear the faint tip-tips of rain on my window. The wind, ever boisterous, has been really blowing all day. Winter has left, and summer is coming. Prior to the shirt-drenching heat, however, we have the rainy season. I don't know quite what to expect because, being from Oregon, we don't so much have a nice rainy season and a nice dry season; but more a dry-season and everything else. Mainly, I don't know what kind of rain to expect. Will it be the gentle mist that spits in your face, or the deluge descending from the heavens? Will my standard Oregon raincoat be sufficient, or will I be forced to cover my apartment in post-it notes so as to not forget the loathed umbrella? At leas the post-its will cover the mess.
Speaking of mess, my apartment is a war zone between two competing factions. The first, currently with a slight upper hand, is utter chaos. Things lay strewn throughout my apartment, bags of trash wait to be taken out on the correct day, and laundry hangs on the walls. The second is the sense that there is a place for everything, and everything in its place. This is the side that wants...while not a clean apartment, at least a presentable one. At times I have wondered if I would be tidier or messier with a larger place. One the one hand, a larger apartment would have more room for more things, which is my perennial problem over here (at least, that's what I tell myself). On the other hand, just because I would have enough room for things doesn't mean that I would necessarily use it. After all, in colder months I tend to like clutter because it reflects a cozy side of things that speaks of warmth (why do we say that word with a, 'p' but don't have it in the spelling? Weird). In warmer months, I find that I cannot stand it as much. I still like it a little bit, but I am more drawn to an orderly environ. I guess that means that if I lived in Alaska, I would have a Fortress of Refuse--with storied objects of old stuffed into every nook and cranny. Meanwhile, on the equator, I would be the perfect hermit, free of all of my worldly posessions.
So, apparently I'm not into reflecting on many of my experiences at the moment. Here's the thing, coming back was easier than the first time. I felt better about it (though it was still really hard) and I have found it easier to adjust. That's probably due to a bit of familiarity, but also due to the fact that I can live over here. I have gotten to the point where I can make simple sentences and where I can survive. I also know how to do things over here that I may one day need to figure out in the US--though if I can pay online that shouldn't be a problem. The idea of one day going back to the US both frightens and scintillates me. I will already have skills to help me, but I will also need to relearn how to do things, as well as learn new ways of doing things. It will be an experience, but I think that I can say that, no matter how long I am in the US, a part of me will forever more lie within Japan.
One story. Yesterday, I went to a party. It was with some current teachers, former teachers, and students, and it was a blast. One of my co-workers brought her takoyaki maker, and we all had a lot of fun trying it out. Takoyaki, for the uninitiated, is fried balls of dough with some octopus in them. I learned how to make vegetarian takoyaki. The entire process, so long as you have all of the ingredients, is surprisingly fun and easy. You simply pour a bit of oil into each hole, and then add a little dough. You then add in your ingredients, and pour a layer of dough on top of that. After a few minutes, you turn the dough. Let that cook while you keep turning and voila! Little balls of goodness. I will definitely have to get one of those for myself eventually.
The rest of the party was also enjoyable. We sat around and talked, did a little ballroom dancing (well, some of us did) and overall had a great time. It was nice to be able to interact with people without feeling any pressure, though I must admit that I still felt a tad nervous. I don't know what it is over here that has me constantly stressed, but I have a feeling that it has more to do with just who I am and how I operate. A similar thing happened to me when I started college. Once I found my groove (and found people to mentor) I found myself acting as a better person overall. It just takes time for me to acclimate. How much time, I don't know. Hopefully, it will be sooner rather than later.
Anyway, this has been another adventure in the austentatious. If you liked me, tell your friends; if you hated me, tell your enemies; and if you didn't care either way, then tell everyone. Peace out.
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