Today's thrilling episode is brought to you in part by: Condensed Awesomeness. Why be tall when you can be small.
Hello, I am the narrator, and now we're ready for: Adventures in the Austentatious! When last we read, our hero was standing upon the precarious precipice of that horror of horror, that abomination of Armageddon, that scourge of the soul: a six day work week. To many, such a future would lead to shakes, shivvers, and surprise shimmies, but our hero is not one to be caught dancing by surprise--and he prefers to swing. Rallying through comradery with exception co-workers and exuberant love of teaching, our hero set forth to prove that more than love may conquer all. And all it did conquer, though it was briefly defeated by an Achilles Heel, or in this case toe. A dart of darkness from the past loomed large this week when, in a fit of joy leaving him dancing around his classroom, our hero mis-jumped, landing slightly forward of center. This subtle shift sent sensations scintillating and sacrosanct through sub-digits. The result: a loud snap sang through the classroom. After the briefest of pauses, our hero rallied and recharged, finishing the class and then teaching two more. But damage had been done, for upon examining the toe--or toes, as was later revealed--in question, an old wound had appeared: a divot of devilish proportions right along the knuckles. Remembering mother's wisdom of long past, our hero believed himself and his toe bones broken. However, drawing upon the knowledge of a close companion, our hero discovered that this was not likely the case. Given the description, the more likely ailment was not forced and fantastic fracture, but dull and desolate dislocation. The cure: time. The prognosis: do what you must. And so our hero set off for work, completing the rest of the week with flair, though ever aware of his ped-problem.
So, in Japan, there is no culture of the, "day-to-sleep-it-off." While this may be very common in western countries, it is simply not done over here. In other words: if you don't have to go to the hospital, then you can go to work. So, I taught several days worth of classes on two toes with varying levels of pain. Why? Well, many reasons. For one, it never really hurt that much. I didn't want to step on them, and if they were already hurting then walking on them made them worse, but all in all everything was manageable. Secondly, I'd rather my co-workers not worry too much. If I can get to work, and can work, then obviously it's not too bad to be worried about. Thirdly, I love my job. Love, love, love my job. And I did my best to make sure that my students didn't notice anything wrong. I don't know how well I succeeded in that endeavor, but at least no one asked about it. Also, though I still have a really long way to go--far longer than I'd like to have at this point--I feel as though I have come far enough that my presence to my students is beneficial. Could I be replaced? Yes, easily and probably with someone more skilled...or at least with more experience. However, am I a detriment? Not any more, or at least I really hope so.
Of course, cultural differences are what really have interested me, and perhaps one of the biggest cultural differences can be best illustrated with a story. Before class the other day, a student told me that they [I prefer to use a gender neutral term when discussing students for privacy sake, and ze isn't widely enough used to be viable, and I abhor the phrase, "he or she." English simplifies, and so have I] had a magazine with an article about my home town. Really, I was ecstatic, but I was also rather busy and might have accidentally blown her off--more on that later. Anywho, they open up the magazine to show me pictures of Portland, and I can tell right away that it is Portland, Oregon. Not because of the beautiful green scenery, nor because of any buildings that I recognize, nor indeed because it says Portland on the cover. No, I recognize it because of the cover picture, featuring two people, as the student said, "walking their dogs." Well, I have been to many places on this good, green earth, and while those two critters were definitely pets, I don't know anyone who would call them dogs. They were on a leash, one was definitely sniffing while the other stared off into the distance, and they were obviously well taken care of; but they were a far cry from the genus canine. That's because they were goats. Pygmy goats, unless I am much mistaken. When I pointed this out to the student, they looked confused. When I pointed out that I had no issue with this fact, they became even more confused and put away the magazine.
This story illustrates, perhaps, one of the hardest parts of my living here: I don't know how to assimilate. In Portland, as in everywhere, there is a dominant culture that tends to subvert and draw in weaker cultures. I will also agree that I have been a part of that culture all of my life, and that it's fairly ingrained into me. However, a part of that cultural heritage is the idea that subcultures are OK, enriching, and should be somewhat allowed a life of their own. Live in a tree for ten days to protest it being cut down? Why not. Don't shower for environmental reasons while ranting about the evils of Obama? Your crowd might be small, though your smell might not be, but Portland loves you. A book-burning neo-nazi? I'm sure they're around somewhere and thriving, though I'd rather they stay on the fringe. The point is that, although Portland assimilates sub-cultures into its larger strata, it has a tendency to do so by diversifying itself as much as it unifies and standardizes the subgroup. As such, I am used to the idea of standard deviations from the normal being fine. Which is not quite considered a good point of view in Japan. I am not saying that Japanese people are closed minded--they are quite open to external ideas, as history has shown. Rather, that internally they tend to be very good at homogeneity and assimilating. People follow a certain role and stick with it.
I will say right now that I am very lucky. My manager is a wonderful woman--who I admire quite a bit--who somehow puts up with my oddities better than many in her role probably would. However, there is always this background drive to assimilate, which slides off of me like water on a duck. It's not that I don't recognize that it's there, but more so that it's so anathema to how I was brought up that I cannot conceive of it in any way other than an academical sense; like trying to understand what a cat would experience on Pluto, there are limitations.
But you know what? Neither way is really right, just like neither way is wrong. It simply is. It's like the reason why I worked--gladly, mind you--a six day work week. Next week the building that my school is in will be closed, and so we won't have classes for one day. In America, that would be seen as a free day off, something grand and unexpected. In Japan, however, workers expect and plan that they will have to make up that time somewhere...something which had to be pointed out to me, I might add. But that's the culture, and even if I highly doubt I will ever really fit into it, at the very least I can try to understand it.
Wow, I talked about my job quite a bit today. I know that I said early on that I wouldn't be talking about my job in this blog--and I am still trying to do so in the vaguest terms possible--I am finding that restriction impossible to uphold. Why? Because my job is my life. I spend more time there than anywhere else--awake, at least. It is where I am experiencing life here, and it's where I am finding the most excitement. So, although I will attempt to make things as vague as possible from here on out, work stories might creep into this text. I will never use names, I will use gender neutral pronouns when talking about students--for those who don't know, I'm the only full time male teacher at my school--but even though it's fairly mundane to me, it's also where most other people will be fascinated. I mean, that's the whole point of this blog and its title: that adventure can be found in every day life. I mean, which sounds better: "Today I went to the grocery store and bought eggs," or, "hiding in the shadows created by the noon-time sun, I slunk to the great place where they store food. Name: super market. Creeping carefully through the aisles, I could not help but notice the bored and bar faces around me, as though this tantalizing trip through unbridled plenty was but a momentary monotonous pause in the otherwise excitement of every-day life. Finally, though the mists of mythical scents, I spied with my very eyes something rounded, whited, and soon to be eated! Scions of Hen! Carefully, so as not to disturb the careful balance laid in supplication by a worker of this hive of edibles, I gingerly lifted one glorious carton. Now, taking it to the front, I wooed the guard with shiny pieces of metal while, with my prize I made my escape!" Really, it all depends on how you choose to view things.
Case in point, my most enjoyable day of work was when I was Earnest Hemingway pretending to be Austin Schock. Nobody knew that I was really Earnest Hemingway, so I would call that day a complete success. Now, some might ask why I went to all of the bother, and my answer is simple: I don't know. It sounded fun, unobtrusive, and a good chance to giggle to myself like a crazed loon--and it worked. Either way I was Austin Schock, I just decided that, for one day, that fact should be a little bit more exciting.
One last point (told you I'd get to it, didn't I): body language. It has taken me years and years and years to get to the point that I can read big body language. My issue is not a lack of empathy--at least, I hope not--but more that the way that I tend to connect with most people is not very physical, and so I tend to be not very good at reading those signs. However, in America I have gotten to the point where I can tell that something is wrong, even if I'm not quite sure what it is. However, here in Japan, I am dealing with a case of new culture-new body language. And it's one that I can't read very well. Big signs, yes, I can read...but smaller ones, or really subtle ones...I know that I'm missing a lot, and as a teacher that's not OK. I need to be able to read my students to know if I'm getting through to them. So, once again, I am observing really carefully and trying to understand each and every cue that I see. I still tend to miss a lot and misunderstand most of it, but only through time will I bet better...so long as I don't mess up anything too much along the way. I guess, though, that I should start living by my own words more: I am focused so much on what I might get wrong, that I don't even realize how much I get right.
Well, this has been another adventure in the austentatious. If you liked me, tell your friends; if you hated me, tell your enemies; and if you didn't care either way, tell everybody. And now, good night.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
Ep. 11 Termination Temptation
After six weeks of living and working in a beautiful bustling burg of 'burbia, our hero's mind begins to wander. Where will I be in six months? Where will I be in six years. And so, upon these winds of change, our hero set off to wander his abode, so search for answers or swerve for changers when, suddenly and immediately in a matter of time less than a second, what should our hero find but...
And just beyond, beckoning like the sweet sound of the Siren's of old, lay:
Against all odds and all hopes, the infinite expanses of limitless human ingenuity--forms named progress and prestitude--had suddenly given way to the unbound beauties of nature, as though she herself had placed a wall upon the land, stood upon is, and quoted a certain grey wizard in his own call against the fires of war and industry. Thoughts of the future, of a home far away, of small places and small problems, and write and wrong and tragedy all melted away in an instant. And in their place peace and possibility. For nature lies closer to our doorstep than we think, and it take but a moment for it to caper in and catapult us into celestial bliss.
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For those of you who don't know, Tolkein's work can be allegorically read as a treatise against excessive industry at the expense of the natural. The hobbit who made the movies expanded this idea somewhat to make them a little more blatantly obvious.
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So, I've been thinking a lot about the future lately. It's not that I'm unhappy here, or that I don't like my job--quite the opposite for both, actually--but more that Konosu, though green, is still not as green as Portland. Maybe that's an unfair statement, but at the very least it's a very different kind of green. Mostly what I've been missing, though, have been breaks in the city. As I've said before, Tokyo never seems to end, and though I've always taken the same train lines to get where I've wanted to go, it none-the-less was getting to me that, no matter what I did, I would undoubtedly hit city, city, and more city. Having grown up in Portland where we love nature so much that we are home to the smallest national park in the world--Mill Ends Park: at .292 m^2, it's more of a glorified flower pot, although it's completely natural--and where the city itself is interrupted by the glorious Forest Park--over 2,000 hectares, all of which are located inside the city--the lack of green space was really getting to me. It is apparently a rather common issue in Tokyo, where they've installed speakers in the subway system and other underground areas to play bird noises so that people feel that they're close to nature. But when you know people who've been scaled by a squirrel--and have almost been so yourself--canned bird noises just ain't gonna cut it. As such, I was starting to go a little insane...until I found the end of the city. And when I say end, that's what it is. It just stops. I couldn't believe my eyes...I had been living within three miles of this beautiful, open space for six weeks and had no idea! I mean, it had fields...
And a river called the Arakawa:
Oh so very reminiscent of the Deschutes [pronunciation for you non-natives: Deh-Shoots; known for deh white water, where you can have deh time of your life with deh runs] in its calmer, narrower points. And lastly, the attribute well known by all who live within a valley:
Look at those hills! Look at them: that is what a horizon is supposed to look like. And I found wildlife--there, off in the distance, the slow circling of a bird of prey (I think that I can identify it as a Grey-Faced Buzzard, which is a fantastically beautiful bird that we in the New World would call a hawk) signalling the immanent death of something small, cute, and possibly annoying. I even saw a House Crow, standing on top of a telephone pole. I couldn't tell if had a worm in its mouth, or if it had a mustache, but I will let you, dear reader, decide:
If you could not already tell, this discovery made me very happy indeed. I now have a world of nature to explore, and I cannot wait to see what I will find. As one added bonus, when I left the paradise I glanced back one more time to find...
That's right, I saw a parasailer (that is a word, you silly google-thing you) gliding in for a landing. Can anyone else say best sign ever?
Other than this amazing surprise, there are only a couple other things to note about this week. The first is that, on Friday, I was observed at work. This basically means that a trainer from the head office comes in, watches me teach, and then gives me feedback at the end of the day. And let me tell you, getting feedback felt great. I thrive on feedback, I love feedback. Every night after every play with the extraordinary directors in High School (particularly the beautiful Stephanie Mulligan) I would look forward to the feedback time to know what I needed to improve on. As an actor, it's kind of my bread-and-butter-,-better-currency-than-salt-,-I-need-this-now-fix...and I hadn't been getting much of it. Which means that I'm either viewed as a lost cause, or I'm great, neither of which really helps me. However, from my feedback, I now know what I can start focusing on. I also know that I always appeared prepared, confident, and professional. Which means that I now have the element of surprise on my side if I ever decide to show up in a speedo. True, I would need to buy one first, but I'm sure that isn't too hard. Anyway, I was so excited to get feedback, that I imbued my kids lessons the next day with as much energy as I could and, wouldn't you know it, by the end of the day I felt a slightly familiar twinge in my left knee...apparently I had over done it a bit. Good to know. So, I really relaxed this weekend, didn't do much, and aside from the occasional stairs issue, I'm doing fine...I hope...
The other fun aspect of note this week is this fun creation:
Say hello to the world's healthiest doughnut! (soon to be added to my cooking section). Why yes, observant person, that is an avocado, and yes it is filled with yogurt. It also happens to be delicious, nutritious, and compact. In other words the perfect meal for today's on the go adventurer. As a further cooking note, just as, 'tomato bisque + whipped cream + cocoa puffs = slight mint taste," apparently, 'skinned kiwi + chili beans = light-green Listerine taste.' According to Amazing Sciencey Friend #Mind [read Number, not hash tag you internet zealots], this has to do with the fact that the sensors in our mouths that pick up menthol are really good, and some of the easiest to activate. However, that still fails to explain why they both didn't taste more similar... Anyway, this has been another exciting--and photo filled--adventure in the austentaious. If you liked me, tell your friends; if you hated me, tell your enemies; and if you didn't care either way, tell everyone.
And just beyond, beckoning like the sweet sound of the Siren's of old, lay:
Against all odds and all hopes, the infinite expanses of limitless human ingenuity--forms named progress and prestitude--had suddenly given way to the unbound beauties of nature, as though she herself had placed a wall upon the land, stood upon is, and quoted a certain grey wizard in his own call against the fires of war and industry. Thoughts of the future, of a home far away, of small places and small problems, and write and wrong and tragedy all melted away in an instant. And in their place peace and possibility. For nature lies closer to our doorstep than we think, and it take but a moment for it to caper in and catapult us into celestial bliss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For those of you who don't know, Tolkein's work can be allegorically read as a treatise against excessive industry at the expense of the natural. The hobbit who made the movies expanded this idea somewhat to make them a little more blatantly obvious.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, I've been thinking a lot about the future lately. It's not that I'm unhappy here, or that I don't like my job--quite the opposite for both, actually--but more that Konosu, though green, is still not as green as Portland. Maybe that's an unfair statement, but at the very least it's a very different kind of green. Mostly what I've been missing, though, have been breaks in the city. As I've said before, Tokyo never seems to end, and though I've always taken the same train lines to get where I've wanted to go, it none-the-less was getting to me that, no matter what I did, I would undoubtedly hit city, city, and more city. Having grown up in Portland where we love nature so much that we are home to the smallest national park in the world--Mill Ends Park: at .292 m^2, it's more of a glorified flower pot, although it's completely natural--and where the city itself is interrupted by the glorious Forest Park--over 2,000 hectares, all of which are located inside the city--the lack of green space was really getting to me. It is apparently a rather common issue in Tokyo, where they've installed speakers in the subway system and other underground areas to play bird noises so that people feel that they're close to nature. But when you know people who've been scaled by a squirrel--and have almost been so yourself--canned bird noises just ain't gonna cut it. As such, I was starting to go a little insane...until I found the end of the city. And when I say end, that's what it is. It just stops. I couldn't believe my eyes...I had been living within three miles of this beautiful, open space for six weeks and had no idea! I mean, it had fields...
And a river called the Arakawa:
Oh so very reminiscent of the Deschutes [pronunciation for you non-natives: Deh-Shoots; known for deh white water, where you can have deh time of your life with deh runs] in its calmer, narrower points. And lastly, the attribute well known by all who live within a valley:
Look at those hills! Look at them: that is what a horizon is supposed to look like. And I found wildlife--there, off in the distance, the slow circling of a bird of prey (I think that I can identify it as a Grey-Faced Buzzard, which is a fantastically beautiful bird that we in the New World would call a hawk) signalling the immanent death of something small, cute, and possibly annoying. I even saw a House Crow, standing on top of a telephone pole. I couldn't tell if had a worm in its mouth, or if it had a mustache, but I will let you, dear reader, decide:
If you could not already tell, this discovery made me very happy indeed. I now have a world of nature to explore, and I cannot wait to see what I will find. As one added bonus, when I left the paradise I glanced back one more time to find...
That's right, I saw a parasailer (that is a word, you silly google-thing you) gliding in for a landing. Can anyone else say best sign ever?
Other than this amazing surprise, there are only a couple other things to note about this week. The first is that, on Friday, I was observed at work. This basically means that a trainer from the head office comes in, watches me teach, and then gives me feedback at the end of the day. And let me tell you, getting feedback felt great. I thrive on feedback, I love feedback. Every night after every play with the extraordinary directors in High School (particularly the beautiful Stephanie Mulligan) I would look forward to the feedback time to know what I needed to improve on. As an actor, it's kind of my bread-and-butter-,-better-currency-than-salt-,-I-need-this-now-fix...and I hadn't been getting much of it. Which means that I'm either viewed as a lost cause, or I'm great, neither of which really helps me. However, from my feedback, I now know what I can start focusing on. I also know that I always appeared prepared, confident, and professional. Which means that I now have the element of surprise on my side if I ever decide to show up in a speedo. True, I would need to buy one first, but I'm sure that isn't too hard. Anyway, I was so excited to get feedback, that I imbued my kids lessons the next day with as much energy as I could and, wouldn't you know it, by the end of the day I felt a slightly familiar twinge in my left knee...apparently I had over done it a bit. Good to know. So, I really relaxed this weekend, didn't do much, and aside from the occasional stairs issue, I'm doing fine...I hope...
The other fun aspect of note this week is this fun creation:
Say hello to the world's healthiest doughnut! (soon to be added to my cooking section). Why yes, observant person, that is an avocado, and yes it is filled with yogurt. It also happens to be delicious, nutritious, and compact. In other words the perfect meal for today's on the go adventurer. As a further cooking note, just as, 'tomato bisque + whipped cream + cocoa puffs = slight mint taste," apparently, 'skinned kiwi + chili beans = light-green Listerine taste.' According to Amazing Sciencey Friend #Mind [read Number, not hash tag you internet zealots], this has to do with the fact that the sensors in our mouths that pick up menthol are really good, and some of the easiest to activate. However, that still fails to explain why they both didn't taste more similar... Anyway, this has been another exciting--and photo filled--adventure in the austentaious. If you liked me, tell your friends; if you hated me, tell your enemies; and if you didn't care either way, tell everyone.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Ep. 10 A Revealing Retrospective
And so we rejoin the narrative yet in progress with a disabling and disorienting look back at what willful wonders wondrously were. Why? Well, woeful wobbelers, a month has passed since my entrance to the city of Konosu. Four weeks of teaching! Four weeks of drama! Four weeks on my own to trash an apartment beyond human comprehension and sensibility. And what for? Fantabulous and fanatical a-fictitions. So today/ tonight/ tonoon/ tomidnight I reflect upon the month I have led, the month I will lead, and why those two could be spelled and sounded the same way!
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Note for those unfamiliar with common etymologies: many-many-many-many-many English words come from either Greek or Latin origins. If you take one of those words and add an a- or an an- in front of it, it negates the following word. For example, aesthetic (feelings!) becomes anesthetic (nothing not one feeling!). So, with the a- prefix fiction becomes non-fiction. Certainly this is why we tell our children that there is a-santa.
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Let me be blunt: I am homesick. I like Japan, Japan is a very nice place, filled with very nice people, and very nice buildings, and a very nice city that never seems to end--although today I did find the bridge where the city stops which was a really big relief and there will be pictures of it some other time--but all of these things lack one simple thing. They are not quirky-quirky Portland. I miss the feeling of walking down the street and half expecting a unicycle-riding-bagpipe-playing lunatic to come careening around the corner. I miss wandering through Powell's with my third armload of books because the past two were put down and lost in a futile effort to find higher ground to find the exit. I miss looking out the window on one side of my abode to see rain dumping in sheets, while glancing out a window on the other side and seeing a cloudless-blue sky. Oddly enough, I don't miss being able to read and understand everything, because now it's like a strange puzzle; but what I do miss most of all--aside from the anthropomorphic personification of Oregon itself--are the people. I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss my teachers...I even miss my enemies, whoever they might be. "Live long in Oregon," as the song goes.
And, you know what? It's OK that I miss them. It's OK that I miss all of these things, because they are what I value most. The other stuff I can live without--though the whole literacy thing be mitigated by the fact that so much is in English/ pictures/ I do have a nice collection of English language books--but these facets that I miss are the ones that I depend on. As such, if I am going to make it over here I am going to need to find a way to find them here. Yes, Konosu is not quirky by any stretch of the imagination, but that doesn't mean that I can't be quirky in it. And no, I'm not going to learn how to unicycle down the streets--because I'm an inexperienced enough driver without having to remember to drive on the other side of the road--but I have other skills that I can pull out. Powell's might be a little hard, and I'd rather not mess with the weather if I can help it, but I'm sure that I can make friends. I just have to get out of my apartment a bit more and find a way to get out into the community. It's all on me whether this year is going to be enjoyable or not, and I intend to do my best to make it so.
So, what brought up this sudden bout of, "I want to go home?" Well, several things. First, the realization that it has been a month--and a quick one at that--isn't helping matters. Secondly, I got a care package from my Willamette friends:
Here's the package...plus my yet-to-be-folded laundry...
And here's what was in it. Hiding is the American peanut butter which, now that I can do direct comparisons, is very different from its Japanese counterpart. For one, the latter is a color found in nature, while the former will never be mistaken for frosting. It was incredibly touching, I am so happy with all of the food I now have, but I'm still a bit miffed because it made me miss them all more than I already was. And another one is on its way from my mumsies...this could be a rough few weeks; thank goodness I have work to take my mind off of things.
Speaking of work, I would say that it's going well. Most of my classes follow one of four basic lesson plans, and since I spent so much time memorizing them the first week I can conceivably do a lesson on autopilot right now. This isn't good, because that means I won't be preparing for the harder questions that my students might ask me from left field. These are things that native speakers never conceive to even begin to google, and so we must stall for a moment while our brain goes over every possible permutation of why. The worst, though, is when the explanation is about something incredibly nuanced--such as when a question involving, "you" can be legitimately reported (he/she/ze said) with the subject changing to me, we, he, she, they, or it could stay you. The English language is messed-flipping-up. As such, for the sake of my students I cannot afford to just go on autopilot...at least until I get better at analyzing my mother tongue.
The only other big thing to mention about work--aside from the fact that I not only taped three skeletons to an 11 and a half foot ceiling without a ladder and then managed to get the tape off the ceiling when the skeletons fell off over night--is wardrobe. Dutifully, I iron my clothes every morning, as is proper. I don't mind, I kind of enjoy it, it's not a problem. I do, however, have a few questions about cloth. First, what is the purpose of a tie? The tie, like the high heel, comes from the ancient Roman legions; the former was a special kind of scarf, while the latter was used to strengthen the calf muscles. I lump these two together because they have both, through time, moved away from their original purpose, lost all possible function, and have become an odd and utterly useless remnant. Any trace of function is gone, their only purpose now being fashion. I will wear a tie because it is required of me, though I must say that I vastly prefer bow ties because, while equally useless, they at least fail to get in the way during such mundane activities as eating or relieving oneself. I have never really understood a piece of clothing that serves no actual function--note my love of pants with lots of pockets--and as such am as puzzled by the fact of a tie as I am by my suit jackets where I cannot seem to easily raise my arm above my shoulder. So, will someone please tell me what the purpose of the tie is aside from arbitrary and utterly idiotic notions about what is formal, fancy, and fashionable?
Lastly, we turn to the notion of food and house work. This month has been a transformation month for me. Whereas in America I was hooked upon my easy, simple, ready to micro-wave frozen meals for lunch and, often, dinner, here in Japan I have grown accustomed to cooking all of my own meals. Considering how much I eat, this is a lot of dishes. However, I have continued my goal of never leaving my kitchen a mess before bed...a goal that has been kept with reckless abandon. In fact, I usually clean my dishes before I leave for work as well these days. The other bit of housework to note--aside from the general state of clutter that I kind of like to live in--is the futon.
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One quick rant and then back to the culture stuff: Japanese. Pillows. Are. Tiny. And. Hard. As. Rock! At night, I want to lie my head upon my pillow, not brain it with it.
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This probably goes into the, "so culturally obvious that we never realize that it's culture so we never remember to tell foreigners," category of things that I have discovered. I learned early on that you are supposed to lie out the futon about once a week, which I have mostly been doing. What I did not learn until this past week, however, is that it also needs to be folded up. Every. Single. Day. This prevents the futon from growing damp, and prevents a damp spot forming between the futon and the floor, which tends to be a rather nice breeding ground for mold. So, every day--just like people all over Japan who have been doing so since they were children--I fold up my futon and leave it to air.
One other note on culture: respect. Everyone who comes to Japan, it seems, remarks on the culture of respect and politeness that pervades the Japanese culture. I even know of a few Americans who bemoan the fact that the US has lost its, "respect." I would argue that, a) it depends on where you are, and b) that it's hard to lose something that you relatively never had to begin with (please consult your history books before arguing with me, people. Slaver, Trail of Tears, beating another senator with a cane because you disagree with him...not very respectful). I would also advise to look at the culture surrounding the respect before you pass judgement upon it. Yes, I will admit that I love the respect and politeness that everyone shows each other. However, I do wonder if such a culture could exist in a more egalitarian society. That's not to say that Japan isn't egalitarian in terms of equal rights or distribution of wealth, it rather is, but that Japan is still very much ruled under the idea of the hierarchy (in most cases, read patriarchy, a fact that my own school thankfully modernized on). In other words, people are very polite and respectful to one another because everyone knows exactly where their social place is at any given moment and how they stand with everyone else. It is unbecoming to not be humble, so you are polite to those lower down. Those higher up can screw you over in unspeakable ways, and so you are polite and respectful to those higher up (this is, of course, a gross oversimplification from an American perspective and probably very wrong, even if the general idea is corret). Yes, it is a system that works--and works really well--but the framework that surrounds and supports it is not really one that I'm currently comfortable with. Quite frankly, I am more impressed and intrigued by someone who can lick their elbow than someone who runs a country, but that's just me. What I'm really trying to say is that before you pass judgement upon an aspect of a society, please try to put it in context and understand it as a part of the whole.
I will end tonight's post with this: life can be hard. It's not really here for us to be comfortable in, or really for us at all. It just sort of is...and there's something kind of amazing in that fact. I mean, people can be comfortable, life can be going, "their way," but on the whole, these tend to be unhappy people. They don't necessarily know themselves, or what they want. So, even though life is fairly hard for me right now, I think that it's for the best. I knew going into this that things were going to be difficult--even if I didn't understand quite what it would be like--and I knew that, because of the struggle, I would either grow into more than I could ever have become in Oregon, or burn and die. So, which will happen, the former or the latter? I have no idea; I still have--hopefully--at least eleven more months here until I'm done, and it will take quite some time after that for all the ramifications to play out. I do know, however, that I'm already a different person than the guy who came over here. I also know, and I'm going to say it here: my weight is probably going to be a huge factor in how long I stay here. If I can manage things, I might stay longer. However, if things grow unmanageable--especially during the winter, when I will undoubtedly need to eat more to generate heat--then I will have to put my health above all other concerns. But I knew this going in, and I have adjusted accordingly. One last thing before I go: I'm not all that fond of being called, "Mr. Austin," by my students. For one, I feel as though it makes a separation between the student and the teacher that I'm not comfortable with, and for another--as I have said since I was little--I am Austin, just Austin. And, so, this has been another exciting Adventure of the Austentatious. If you liked me, tell your friends; if you hate me, tell your enemies; and if you don't care either way, then tell everyone.
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Note for those unfamiliar with common etymologies: many-many-many-many-many English words come from either Greek or Latin origins. If you take one of those words and add an a- or an an- in front of it, it negates the following word. For example, aesthetic (feelings!) becomes anesthetic (nothing not one feeling!). So, with the a- prefix fiction becomes non-fiction. Certainly this is why we tell our children that there is a-santa.
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Let me be blunt: I am homesick. I like Japan, Japan is a very nice place, filled with very nice people, and very nice buildings, and a very nice city that never seems to end--although today I did find the bridge where the city stops which was a really big relief and there will be pictures of it some other time--but all of these things lack one simple thing. They are not quirky-quirky Portland. I miss the feeling of walking down the street and half expecting a unicycle-riding-bagpipe-playing lunatic to come careening around the corner. I miss wandering through Powell's with my third armload of books because the past two were put down and lost in a futile effort to find higher ground to find the exit. I miss looking out the window on one side of my abode to see rain dumping in sheets, while glancing out a window on the other side and seeing a cloudless-blue sky. Oddly enough, I don't miss being able to read and understand everything, because now it's like a strange puzzle; but what I do miss most of all--aside from the anthropomorphic personification of Oregon itself--are the people. I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss my teachers...I even miss my enemies, whoever they might be. "Live long in Oregon," as the song goes.
And, you know what? It's OK that I miss them. It's OK that I miss all of these things, because they are what I value most. The other stuff I can live without--though the whole literacy thing be mitigated by the fact that so much is in English/ pictures/ I do have a nice collection of English language books--but these facets that I miss are the ones that I depend on. As such, if I am going to make it over here I am going to need to find a way to find them here. Yes, Konosu is not quirky by any stretch of the imagination, but that doesn't mean that I can't be quirky in it. And no, I'm not going to learn how to unicycle down the streets--because I'm an inexperienced enough driver without having to remember to drive on the other side of the road--but I have other skills that I can pull out. Powell's might be a little hard, and I'd rather not mess with the weather if I can help it, but I'm sure that I can make friends. I just have to get out of my apartment a bit more and find a way to get out into the community. It's all on me whether this year is going to be enjoyable or not, and I intend to do my best to make it so.
So, what brought up this sudden bout of, "I want to go home?" Well, several things. First, the realization that it has been a month--and a quick one at that--isn't helping matters. Secondly, I got a care package from my Willamette friends:
Speaking of work, I would say that it's going well. Most of my classes follow one of four basic lesson plans, and since I spent so much time memorizing them the first week I can conceivably do a lesson on autopilot right now. This isn't good, because that means I won't be preparing for the harder questions that my students might ask me from left field. These are things that native speakers never conceive to even begin to google, and so we must stall for a moment while our brain goes over every possible permutation of why. The worst, though, is when the explanation is about something incredibly nuanced--such as when a question involving, "you" can be legitimately reported (he/she/ze said) with the subject changing to me, we, he, she, they, or it could stay you. The English language is messed-flipping-up. As such, for the sake of my students I cannot afford to just go on autopilot...at least until I get better at analyzing my mother tongue.
The only other big thing to mention about work--aside from the fact that I not only taped three skeletons to an 11 and a half foot ceiling without a ladder and then managed to get the tape off the ceiling when the skeletons fell off over night--is wardrobe. Dutifully, I iron my clothes every morning, as is proper. I don't mind, I kind of enjoy it, it's not a problem. I do, however, have a few questions about cloth. First, what is the purpose of a tie? The tie, like the high heel, comes from the ancient Roman legions; the former was a special kind of scarf, while the latter was used to strengthen the calf muscles. I lump these two together because they have both, through time, moved away from their original purpose, lost all possible function, and have become an odd and utterly useless remnant. Any trace of function is gone, their only purpose now being fashion. I will wear a tie because it is required of me, though I must say that I vastly prefer bow ties because, while equally useless, they at least fail to get in the way during such mundane activities as eating or relieving oneself. I have never really understood a piece of clothing that serves no actual function--note my love of pants with lots of pockets--and as such am as puzzled by the fact of a tie as I am by my suit jackets where I cannot seem to easily raise my arm above my shoulder. So, will someone please tell me what the purpose of the tie is aside from arbitrary and utterly idiotic notions about what is formal, fancy, and fashionable?
Lastly, we turn to the notion of food and house work. This month has been a transformation month for me. Whereas in America I was hooked upon my easy, simple, ready to micro-wave frozen meals for lunch and, often, dinner, here in Japan I have grown accustomed to cooking all of my own meals. Considering how much I eat, this is a lot of dishes. However, I have continued my goal of never leaving my kitchen a mess before bed...a goal that has been kept with reckless abandon. In fact, I usually clean my dishes before I leave for work as well these days. The other bit of housework to note--aside from the general state of clutter that I kind of like to live in--is the futon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One quick rant and then back to the culture stuff: Japanese. Pillows. Are. Tiny. And. Hard. As. Rock! At night, I want to lie my head upon my pillow, not brain it with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This probably goes into the, "so culturally obvious that we never realize that it's culture so we never remember to tell foreigners," category of things that I have discovered. I learned early on that you are supposed to lie out the futon about once a week, which I have mostly been doing. What I did not learn until this past week, however, is that it also needs to be folded up. Every. Single. Day. This prevents the futon from growing damp, and prevents a damp spot forming between the futon and the floor, which tends to be a rather nice breeding ground for mold. So, every day--just like people all over Japan who have been doing so since they were children--I fold up my futon and leave it to air.
One other note on culture: respect. Everyone who comes to Japan, it seems, remarks on the culture of respect and politeness that pervades the Japanese culture. I even know of a few Americans who bemoan the fact that the US has lost its, "respect." I would argue that, a) it depends on where you are, and b) that it's hard to lose something that you relatively never had to begin with (please consult your history books before arguing with me, people. Slaver, Trail of Tears, beating another senator with a cane because you disagree with him...not very respectful). I would also advise to look at the culture surrounding the respect before you pass judgement upon it. Yes, I will admit that I love the respect and politeness that everyone shows each other. However, I do wonder if such a culture could exist in a more egalitarian society. That's not to say that Japan isn't egalitarian in terms of equal rights or distribution of wealth, it rather is, but that Japan is still very much ruled under the idea of the hierarchy (in most cases, read patriarchy, a fact that my own school thankfully modernized on). In other words, people are very polite and respectful to one another because everyone knows exactly where their social place is at any given moment and how they stand with everyone else. It is unbecoming to not be humble, so you are polite to those lower down. Those higher up can screw you over in unspeakable ways, and so you are polite and respectful to those higher up (this is, of course, a gross oversimplification from an American perspective and probably very wrong, even if the general idea is corret). Yes, it is a system that works--and works really well--but the framework that surrounds and supports it is not really one that I'm currently comfortable with. Quite frankly, I am more impressed and intrigued by someone who can lick their elbow than someone who runs a country, but that's just me. What I'm really trying to say is that before you pass judgement upon an aspect of a society, please try to put it in context and understand it as a part of the whole.
I will end tonight's post with this: life can be hard. It's not really here for us to be comfortable in, or really for us at all. It just sort of is...and there's something kind of amazing in that fact. I mean, people can be comfortable, life can be going, "their way," but on the whole, these tend to be unhappy people. They don't necessarily know themselves, or what they want. So, even though life is fairly hard for me right now, I think that it's for the best. I knew going into this that things were going to be difficult--even if I didn't understand quite what it would be like--and I knew that, because of the struggle, I would either grow into more than I could ever have become in Oregon, or burn and die. So, which will happen, the former or the latter? I have no idea; I still have--hopefully--at least eleven more months here until I'm done, and it will take quite some time after that for all the ramifications to play out. I do know, however, that I'm already a different person than the guy who came over here. I also know, and I'm going to say it here: my weight is probably going to be a huge factor in how long I stay here. If I can manage things, I might stay longer. However, if things grow unmanageable--especially during the winter, when I will undoubtedly need to eat more to generate heat--then I will have to put my health above all other concerns. But I knew this going in, and I have adjusted accordingly. One last thing before I go: I'm not all that fond of being called, "Mr. Austin," by my students. For one, I feel as though it makes a separation between the student and the teacher that I'm not comfortable with, and for another--as I have said since I was little--I am Austin, just Austin. And, so, this has been another exciting Adventure of the Austentatious. If you liked me, tell your friends; if you hate me, tell your enemies; and if you don't care either way, then tell everyone.
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