Sunday, January 18, 2015

Prologue: Round 2

Zooming back after a five months absence, it's: ANOTHER ADVENTURE OF THE AUSTENTATIOUS!!!!!!!! What a roller coaster it has been. Getting back in the American groove, getting my feet back under me, realizing just what I've been doing...madness! Anyway, here's the lowdown so far. 1) I have only found part time employment, and while I love it, I need to find more. I can only be rejected from places where I apply, and I don't have to accept a position offered. It's time to do this. In that vein, I finally got an American phone number this week. Despite what I was told in Japan, my Japanese phone did not work over here. Sadface. But, now that I have a phone, jobs can actually get back to me. Yay!
Speaking of applications, I had my first round of tests this week for grad school. They were the basic Essential Skills Tests for teaching (reading, writing, and math). I already have two of the results, and I have passed the reading and math tests. So, unless I somehow completely botched the writing part, I am well on my way to grad school for teaching. My main goal here is simply to become a better educator. My teaching style is pretty much something that has been created on the fly, and while I am very thankful for all of the feedback I received, I think a more structured program would help me become better for the students. After that, the goal is to go to school for a Ph.D in History, and teach at a High School or collegiate level. Never put off to tomorrow what you should have done yesterday; let's make this happen.
In my free time, I haven't done much. I've had a few get togethers with some friends, but other than that I haven't been all that social. I did, however, participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writers Month), where I wrote about 60,000 words in the month of November. That has since bloomed to roughly 100,000 words, which I am currently in the process of editing. Yes, I wrote a novel, and am editing it. My goal is to have it published before the end of the year. When we go, shoot for the stars. That way, even if we fall short, we still reached the stars.
Well, I think that's good enough for the night. The only other thing of note in my life is my dog. He's currently fast asleep on his chair behind me, although he had much difficulty getting into it today. I think it's because he had a walk today, though also because he's old. He doesn't usually like to walk these days, so it was nice to get him out today. Regardless, I am thankful for the time that I have with him. Anyway, this is the catchup of what I've been up to--vaguely--for the past five months. I lost my momentum, I've been a bit of a bum, but there's only up to go from here. This has been another adventure in the austentacious; if you like it tell your friends, if you hated it tell your enemies, and if you don't care either way then tell everyone. Goodnight!

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Epilogue: Back in the US

So, I have been back in the US for about three weeks now, and the transition has been progressing. It's definitely a change. Going into stores and being able to understand everything is weird, social interactions are a tad mysterious once again (What is the line? Am I going to far? Am I being too distant? Why is this so hard again?) Most of all, I miss the people that I met in Japan. I miss my friends. I miss my co-workers. Perhaps most of all, I miss my students. I loved being a teacher, and I loved connecting with my students. I am just a bit sad that it took me so long to be able to do so. It's not to say that I didn't connect with students early on--I had some impression on them--but that I feel I connected so much better later on in the year as I got more comfortable. There is not a day that goes by where I do not think of a student, either something funny that they did, or see something that one of them would enjoy, or who I would be teaching as I go to bed. Often I also think of my coworkers. I think of their warmth, I think of the kindness and their quirks. When I first got to Portland, I also thought of my co-worker Zoe a lot; because, after a few months of having her be the only tall, white woman in the entire city--despite my best efforts--for the first few days my brain assumed that everyone who fit that description. No matter where I went, it seemed as though I was being followed. Eventually (and thankfully) I got over that phase, but I definitely wasn't expecting it.
I am definitely going through a bit of reverse culture shock. Literacy is a staggering accomplishment, and being able to overhear conversations is superb. However, I have noticed that rarely it is worth the effort. I find it incredibly stressful to be surrounded by many people, especially people that I don't know. Also, the weather is a bit...different than what I'm used to. As of this moment, I'm used to hot temperatures, soaking humidity, and consistent weather. I'm now in the land of high(ish) temperatures, relatively low humidity, and weather so malleable it might as well be a variety show. So, while everyone else is sweating, I'm fine. While everyone is talking about how humid it is, I don't notice. And whenever I go outside, my instinct to bring a shell actually serves me well. I missed Oregon weather, but I do with that it was just a tad warmer.

So, I haven't posted in quite some time. I am still writing up my Obon week post (pictures help me remember), but there are about two weeks between the end of Obon, my last few days in Japan, and then three weeks between landing and now. So, what happened between then and now? Well, first off those last two weeks were some of the most difficult in quite a while. As an individual, I tend to be distant from my emotions, and when I feel sadder emotions I tend to shut down a little bit. I can also sometimes overcompensate, ignore my emotions, and float atop the sea of troubles with a smile on my face. I did cry that week, many times, but I am afraid that I could not quite get across the depth of my feelings. I adore my students--both those that I no longer taught and those that I was currently teaching--and it saddens me both that I am no longer teaching them and that I might never see them again. I received many gifts (thank you all for those, by the way. I am sorry that I did not write my thank you cards before I left) and have so many friends...there is a phrase in Spanish. "Somos abajo la misma luna" [we are under the same moon]. It means that no matter where any of us are, we always have a connection. To all of my students, I am sorry that I had to leave so soon. I wish that I could have stayed with you longer, but it was not to be...
I had a few days in Japan after my last day of teaching. I had an awesome farewell party (thank you everyone who came--including my amazing Willamette friends who are studying abroad and having a great time--you are all amazing). I got to see a few students. One student and his family took me sightseeing to a temple. I had a great time, and it was a beautiful temple. Afterwards, we all went out to a sweet shop. They bought me a snow-cone in the shape of a chick.
This is a mango-cheese flavored snow-cone. It might sound really odd, but it was delicious. I will also take the time to mention that, in terms of interests, I had an odd set. I enjoy the more adult pursuits of philosophy, science, and having high brow discussions of the minutia contained within the greatest of speeches, soliloquies, and literature. Shakespeare and Plato are my friends, and I have explored the swishes and curves of Kantian reason. Secondly, however, are my other sets of interests. Namely, video games, movies, and show tunes. And when I say video games, I'm not talking about those M-rated shoot fests of doom and foul expression. I instead refer to the joys of Mario, Link, and Pokemon. Over in Japan, I might have also discovered a mobile game called, "Puzzles and Dragons" which (all grammar aside) is insanely popular over there and almost unheard of here. Nothing lets one connect better with a student than sharing their interests, even if I'm not nearly as good as they are. So, while enjoying my snow-cone, I partook in Pokemoning, Puzudura-ing (The Japanese term for the game), and the time sink known as Minecraft. I don't play Minecraft, because I have enough things taking up my free time. However, it is fun to see what other people have made.
I spent the evening with my co-worker and my successor. We had a lot of fun talking. As I had no apartment (I'll be brief: I had to move out of my apartment so that my successor could move in, and my temporary apartment--by my choice--only lasted until the day after my last day) I stayed there for the next few days. The first day, I spent the morning repacking (again) and shipping more boxes. My former coworker, and travel buddy, Zoe and I then went for one last adventure. We went into Tokyo and went to a gold fish art installation. It was exactly what it sounds like. An artist had created glass tanks with pretty lights and filled them with goldfish. It was really pretty, though the tanks might have been too small for those poor little fishies. After that, we returned to Omiya, and had dinner with one of my favorite students. We all had fun--the other two got a little tipsy--and enjoyed my last night in Japan. Such a happy night in the world.
The next day, my last in Japan for this time, I repacked one more time, and was off. The trip to Narita airport was the easiest trip with my luggage of this entire odyssey. I flew air Canada, and had a fairly enjoyable trip--though it was a little sad (OK, a lot sad)--and had a brief layover in Calgary. It had snowed. It was cold. I was in a t-shirt. Not cool, Canada, not cool. The last trip was quick. I was sitting next to a Chinese woman who had lived in Canada for seven years. Her English was really good, and she was a nurse. When she heard that I had been in Japan for a year...let's just say that there are some issues there stemming from WWII. I'm not going to wade into it, but lets just say that there are some strong opinions on both sides of the sea of Japan.
And, that was the trip home. Quick, easy, and (mostly) painless. Since getting home I have started unpacking, handed out gifts, seen family, hung out with family, and reclaimed my (rather rare) part time job. The coolest things so far were going to the Oregon coast and going to the zoo. My poor dog is getting old, so we didn't get a lot of time at the coast, but it was still fun while we were there. The weather started out gloomy and windy, but by mid-day it was bright and sunny. Coincidentally, that was also when we were in traffic driving back. Talk about interesting timing.
Windy
Clouds of doom
Those are the clouds of doom on the horizon. They followed us on the way back home, at least to the coastal mountain range. A few days later (as mentioned) we went to the zoo. It was a cool, cloudy day, and when we arrived the sea of ankle biters was receding from the zoo. It was time for a nap, time to go home, time for the big (relatively speaking...ish) people to rule. It was the perfect day to go to the zoo. The animals were active (the tiger was being a whinny little twit), and the rest of the animals were as active as I have ever seen.
A few final things before I go for the night. First, I have worked at the job. It was temp work for about an hour...and I was nervous. I don't know why. I have done this job on and off since 2007, but I was constantly not at ease. I was worried that someone was going to interact with me, and that I wouldn't be able to help them, or know what to say, or would make a mistake and let people down. I didn't feel this way before Japan, but I think that it might be a result of my time there. In other words, reverse culture shock. Still, it was a lot of fun, so I should get better as time goes on.
The last thing that I want to talk about are my staff gifts. First (and perhaps best) was the book of letters. All of the staff members wrote me a kind letter (I miss you all a lot). The other thing I received from my co-workers was a yukata. A yukata, for the uninformed, is a summer kimono. This particular kind of yukata is called a jinbei. Here I am in it, with my dog, in my jinbei and my Japanese sandals.
Yay summer.
Anyway, that was my life in Japan. On the whole, I am glad that I did it. It was really hard at the start, and it was absolutely amazing at the end. I learned a lot about myself, about what I need and don't need, and how I value things in life. I have grown, and learned, and I wish it could have been longer. But some things in life we have to accept. And so, this has been another adventure in the austentatious. If you like it, tell your friends; if you hated it, tell your enemies; and if you don't care either way, then tell everyone. Good night.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Ep 44. The Beginning of the End

Some might have noticed that there was a lack of talking about classes in previous post. That is because I wanted to talk about classes as a big group, because the past few weeks (starting three Saturdays ago) I told students that I would be leaving AEON in September (leaving Japan September 9th, for those who are interested). This has been a very hard thing to do. There have been tears from me and from my students (especially me), but it is what it is. Now that I'm on summer break, I've had some time to ruminate over things, and I've decided that ruminating is not what I should be doing. It is simply too sad a concept for me to think about. Truth be told, I feel really guilty about going back to the states. There have been many students (and parents) who are really shocked by the news, and tell me that they are really sad about it. And I'm sad too. I've grown attached to my students, and I've rather enjoyed watching them learn and grow. The best thing that I can do right now is to stay present enough to enjoy my time with my students and rightfully prepare for my successor. To any students reading this, I would like to apologize for my departure. There are things in this world currently beyond my ability to control, and many things that I must attend to. But the world is small, and if we are to be friends, then I know that we will find a way to reconnect.

As previously remarked, I am currently on Summer vacation. This will be my first (and, this trip, my only) vacation where I am not with my family. For winter vacation, my dad and step-mom came over to Japan. For Golden week, I went back to the states. And here I am for Obon. What is my plan? I'm going to Kyoto (yay!) Starting tomorrow, in fact. I'm going to be riding the Shinkansen for the first time.
//** Quick culture note for the unaware:
Obon: Obon is one of the Japanese days for the celebration of the dead. The closest connecting holliday in the West is El Día de Muertos in Mexico. The basic idea of the holiday is to welcome the dead back into the household. This holiday, from what I have learned, has three connecting rituals. One is to make an ox out of an eggplant and a horse out of a cucumber (basically, you use tooth picks for legs and a little imagination). The second involves the ceremonial burial ground for the family. Some people simply go there and pray. Others go through a slightly complicated process of carrying something back home from the cemetery. The third involves releasing paper lanterns into the sky to commemorate the spirits rising back to heaven.
On the hole, I consider this a rather interesting ceremony. In the West, we tend to see the dead--and death itself--as something inherently terrifying. When someone dies, many of us try to get rid of the deceased possessions. In fact, keeping said possessions can be seen as unhealthy, and we are often told of the blessings of simply letting go. While I do agree that hording the memories of the deceased at the expense of one's life is unhealthy, I fear that completely throwing away the dead can also show an unhealthy obsession with life. Life and death, after all, are merely two sides of the same coin. (On another aside, I will not miss my chair. I nearly fell out of my chair...again. It keeps trying to kill me, but I will survive in the end!) To fear one at the expense of the other is to deny a part of ourselves. To be honest, I think that one of the reasons I really enjoy the cultural view of death over here is my complete and utter dislike of the phrase, "YOLO." Yes, we may only live once--my own views are my own--and in moderation that can be a good drive to overcome our fears. However, I know of too many people who use it as an excuse to go beyond all rationality into dangerous territory. When people say, "YOLO," I feel as though they are taking their own agency out of the equation and merely doing something because it is available, rather than through any higher goal of self betterment or enjoyment.

Kyoto is the old Japanese capital. As such, it is filled with many historical places. It was the number one spot to drop the first atomic bomb, but thankfully was saved from someone whose thoughts went beyond the war.

Shinkansen: This is the bullet train. Vamanos, amigos, e alonzi!
//**
I have no idea what I'm going to do when I'm there, but it should be fun.
In other news, picture time (yay.) First, I finally got around to getting my summer picture at the Tokyo Imperial Palace:
And now I have the four seasons. Oh what a year...
Oooh, pretty leaves this time. I think that this is the first time that we can actually see the greenery on the vine. I also took a secondary picture, because...
Under renovation

Yep, the part of the palace that I always take a picture of is under renovation. Well, I guess that summer everywhere means construction. Here are some other nice pictures.
A very lovely red dragon flies

There were a ton of dragonflies around today, buzzing through the air like drones of death. Coupled with them (warning, not quite so nice picture) is the incessant hiss of these:
Hello

This was right outside of my apartment. This is a cicada. For a sizing, here it is with my foot.
It's bigger than my toes!
These things blend in really well. You can always hear them, walking through Japan in the warmer months, but they are remarkably well camouflaged. As such, I had never really gotten a good look at one. They are definitely among the larger bugs over here (though not the most terrifying) and they are definitely among the group of insects that will make me evacuate my apartment if it ever gets in there. However, outside, I mostly don't mind them. Having said that, this little twit was an exception. As I was walking away, I heard the pitter-pitter of tiny wings. I don't know why it was lying there, or what caused it to be there (I have seen many more since--including one being dismembered by some ants--and none of them have done this) but it lived!!! There is now a zombified, Frankenstein-monster-esque cicada flying around Konosu! Fudge muffins, that thing terrified me. My it forever stay away!
One last picture. This is my (now former) assistant manager.
Happy (yes, I did ask for permission first)
There are going to be a lot of changes at my school soon (all of them have been announced, to my knowledge), and this was the first. We now have a new assistant manager at my school, and--as with all changes--it will be hard. It will be really hard for all of the foreign teachers, because this was the woman who picked all of us up after our initial training. She was the first person that we met from our school. She took us to our apartments for the first time, and got us set up at city hall. She helped us to do everything to get set up. And now she is gone...off to bigger and better things. She will be missed, and I wish her the best of luck, and I know that she will do well.
So, this has been another adventure in the austentatious. If you liked it, tell your friends; if you hated it, tell your enemies; and if you don't care, then tell everyone good night.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Ep 43. To the Future

Aaaahhh!!! So much to say, and so little time. Well, let me start with last weekend. I went to Tokyo Disneyland. On a public holiday. Because that was the only day the three of us who went all had off. How was it? Fun...fantastic...and ultimately a little underwhelming compared to Disneyland California. A little back story: I have been to Disneyland many times. Even though there may be many years between visits, I still remember it fairly well (this is especially true of the horrors that some call roller coasters. I do not like roller coaster). The amazing thing about Disneyland California is how distinct all of the different sections feel. From the ground to the sky, each place feels distinct. The New Orleans section really feels like I imagine southern Louisiana to feel, the old west section feels dusty and wild, and tomorrow land feels like an alien society built a space port to invade earth (their leaders disguised themselves as dogs. One went insane. That's why they call him Goofy. The other just wants to go home, that's why they call him Pluto [this looked so much better in my head]). Before I go on, I will note that everything in Japan is about saving space. The wide open acreage of nearly abandoned states--like Montana, of Wyoming--just don't exist over here. So, we must make do. That is the only reason I can conceive of having a theme park with a myriad of distinct locals, each building lovingly recreated, only to cover the entire ground in green cement. What happened to the dusty roads of Adventure Land, or the cobbled streets of the Bayou?
Still, qualms aside, this was Disneyland through and through. The rides were still good, if a tad shortened in places (only one drop of terror in Pirates? No twisty-turny rapids of doom in Splash Mountain?) and the magic still fills the air.
Yay castle!

The animatronics look amazing, and just look at that castle. That is amazing forced perspective to make that thing look freaking huge, when it's really not that big. Not to mention the fact that they charge you copious amounts of money for the privilege of going to the park and spending whatever cash you had left (which, in Tokyo Disneyland, is quite a bit because the tickets are half those in California).
But enough about the park, let's talk about the rides. For some perspective, this is the board for the line for Splash Mountain fifty minutes after the park opened:
Fastpass: 12:00. Standby: 130 minutes

The park has only been open for fifty minutes, and the standby line is over two hours long. That would be unheard of in California on all but the busiest days (and this was not busy). And that wasn't even the worst times that we saw. The worst were, "Pooh's Honey Hunt" and (the new) "Monster's Inc Ride and Go Seek." How bad were these? The former was approaching three hours by the time we passed it at 9:30, and hour and a half after the park opened. Meanwhile, the latter did sometimes dip below 100 minutes, but spent most of the day looking like this:
They ran out of numbers!

And there were still people getting into these lines! True, these were not as bad as Disney Sea over New Years, but it's still a bit nuts.
Anyway, we got into the park and got right onto Pirates (wait time: five minutes. Why not?) And enjoyed ourselves. We then completed our journey to get fast passes for Splash Mountain. Our next stop, next door to Splash Mountain, was the Haunted Mansion, which only had a Standby Time of thirty minute. The line moved fast (because they were expanding it as we were going through) so we got a good view of everything. The ride itself was fun, and about as I remembered it. Next to Haunted Mansion was an Alice in Wonderland restaurant, followed by the Small World ride.
In Disneyland California, it's a Small World is on the other side from the Haunted Mansion. You enter outside, and get a delightful ride through a tunnel where small, soulless eyed children sing of world peace. In Japan, this joyful ride through the dreams of children is situated next to their nightmares. Somehow, this made it less terrifying. To keep all of those bad dreams out, you now enter on the inside, in a room surrounded by a mural of many societies from around the world.
I think that's Italy and...I don't know

It's about as one would expect. We then passed Pooh's Honey Hunt...and learned just how insane Tokyo Disneyland can be. Next stop, Star Tours (ibid) and then over to the Fast Pass line for Monsters Inc. It was 11:30am. I was the only one who got a Fast Pass, because the time on the card was for 8:45pm. No flipping way. We decided to skip that ride this time.
We then decided to go for lunch. In California, Disneyland has been invaded by...something (hippies? hipsters?) and has decided to offer such great modern things as Vegetarian Meals. There are not a lot of options (maybe one per restaurant) but they are there. Not so in Tokyo Disneyland, oh no, here they preserve the ideals of the forefathers and put meat on everything. Want a cheese pizza? Go ahead, so long as you don't mind added bacon. Want a nice salad? OK, with a few shrimp. Needless to say, lunch was hard. However, after lunch we got to watch on of Disneyland's parades. It was supposedly a dance show, but it was really an excuse to hose patrons down. I do not fault them for this, except for the fact that I am not too fond about getting wet. However, it did have some nice eye candy, so that was a plus.
After lunch and the show, we went to Splash Mountain. As previously mentioned, I am not too fond of roller coasters. As also noted, the rides here can be a bit shorter. What this meant was that I was in a constant state of terror, bracing for the coming rush of death, only to have it be a gentle, kiddy, "wheee." Until the end. That dreaded part. The thing that you can see from the outside. I must admit, I was trying my hardest to make it happy. I was trying to smile, and put on a happy face, and I was all ready to go, and then... we stopped. At the top of death, we paused because some nitwit up ahead was taking too long to get out of the ride. And we waited there, for a good fifteen seconds, during which my attempted cool turned into and, "I'm done with this" moment, and the dread slowly set in. The end result is a precious moment that I will treasure forever.
I hate you all

Believe me, it's better with a higher resolution. That's why I bought it (plus, it says Tokyo Disneyland on the back).
Anyway, I tire of Disneyland, so I will wrap this up quick: we did a couple more rides, went shopping, and then left. We were there for eight hours. We all slept very well that night. Here is our picture at the end of the day.
Happy together

And yes, I did wear that hat all the way home. And yes, it embarrassed my traveling companions to no end.
Really fast (I'm getting tired): this weekend. Yesterday, I was, "cleaning" my apartment and decided to take a break and go for a walk in the fields. I left my phone behind. I am glad of this fact. It was a sunny, warm day, so I lathered up on sunscreen, and set out to for an adventure. And there I was, in the middle of the field, and I hear it. *Rumble rumble rumble*
     "Oh dear," I thought, "I hope that's not what I think it is..." FLASH *rumble rumble rumble* "I am in the middle of a field, by myself, in a thunder storm. I am going to die, aren't I?" *yemble yemble yemble* So I set off towards my aparto, hoping to survive, and finding that, apparently, I was not the only loon in town. Rather, I was joined by people who were running, driving, and in one case, perched atop a metal lightning rod (bike) peddling furiously to survive. Anyway, I made it to town, only to be hit by the first few raindrops. It's about ten minutes from the fields to my apartment, during which I turned from a dry, happy child into this:
Who wants a hug?

I had considered going to the supermarket to get lunch, but then I realized that my shirt was clinging to me in indecent ways. Ergo, I stopped home to change my shirt. On the plus side, I incidentally mopped my floors.
As for today, I cleaned my apartment and discovered (after about 11 months of living here) that my couch folds out into a bed. I also watched the new, "Godzilla" movie. I am sure that many will ask me what I thought. People made weird decisions (really? Taking cover behind a car to hide from a creature that's taller than a sky scraper? Why not have an ant hide behind a stick), science was thrown out the window ("I am a scientist and I believe this!" And no other scientist asks why...), and for a movie about giant monster fights there was a dearth of giant monster fights. Also, Godzilla looked like he'd gotten a little out of shape in the years since his last fight. So, what did I think of it? It was absolutely amazingly good. Why? Because it was, "Godzilla"...in Japan. It was my first Godzilla movie, and I wouldn't have cared if it was terrible. I saw my first Godzilla movie, in Japan. This is something that not everyone will understand, but those who do will really get what I mean here.
Afterwards, I went to lunch with some friends at a burger place (I had an Avacado-Cheese sandwich, which is exactly what it sounds like). On the way back to the train, I saw this:
Yukata and others

And that's the thing about Japan. People over here are very modern, and usually dress like people do in the west (with some noticeable exceptions). But there is still about 2000 years worth of tradition, and it is a tradition the has stayed relevant into the modern era. I think that it is safe to say that this is a kind of relation to the past that we do not have in the states, which have undergone so many changes in the last two-hundred plus years that most of those who lived at our inception would have a hard time finding anything relevant to identify with. But I would argue that such a change was already recognizable by Van Buren (random choice, don't ask why) and was certainly recognizable by the end of the civil war. But I digress. Even though Japan has changed a lot in the past 2000 years, there are still aspects that might have been recognizable to those at least from half that distance if not more. There is a humility in holding upon your shoulders the weight of a history reaching back to the time of Caesars, and it still permeates Japanese society today.
Now, three quick stories:
1) In my adult classes, we always have a conversation, and for many conversations, we remind students to please remember their eye contact. So I decided to have fun with that in one of my classes. So, we got through to the reading part (three students in this class) and I pair up two students, pair myself up with the third, and before I can get a word in edgewise the other two go. I try to stop them, but they just keep going. So, I turn to the third, hold up my palmed fake eyeballs (a la "Pans Labyrinth") and ask the student to please remember eye contact. And the student loses it, laughing so hard that ze can't even speak. The other two stop what they're doing and just stare, and then start laughing equally as hard as I pull the same stunt on them. And, you know what? It worked.
2) So, I'm teaching my last class on Saturday, and I'm feeling a little tired. So, I pull out the intro poster for the kids class that I'm teaching, and normally I say, "this is Blah, this is Yadda, they're in Whoosh, and they say bliddle." But I want today to be different, so I ask the students, "Who's this?" One of the students gives me the correct answer right away, but while ze is doing so two of the students are speaking in Japanese, and the only word that I can understand is shampoo. So I ask them, "Is this Shampoo?" And the class loses it. What makes this extra special is that one of the students had just taken a big gulp of water. Immediately ze slaps zis fingers over zer mouth and tilts zer head back. Water goes everywhere as the student nearly starts choking from laughing so hard. Gotta love a good joke.
3) This is more an idea than a story. So, while I was standing in line at the concessions today, I was looking at their wares and had an idea. If I ever open up a movie theater or a fast food restaurant, I am going to name my sizes, "Fun, Medium, Large." Why? Well, I'm sure the cleverer (or most ill begotten) people can figure it out, and I'd just like to say to those who do get it that I would love to be surprised by hearing this some day.
Anyway, this has been another Adventure in the Austentatious. If you liked it, tell your friends; if you hated it tell your enemies; and if you don't care either way then tell everyone. Good night.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Ep 42: Ooooh, aaaaah

Ooooh, I feel like a princess. Why? Because yesterday I went to a festival. There was food, dancing, and fun sights...and I'm going to need to go through my pictures before I write anything else about it.

Other than that there's really not much for me to talk about. I'm trying a new food tonight (pictures as well). A few months ago, I started to get big cravings for grilled cheese sandwiches, but I think that I might be overdoing it. So, tonight I decided to do something fun. I started by mashing an avocado upon one piece of bread. Then, I added the cheese. On top of the cheese, I added some fresh tomato slices. Then, to top it all off, I added another piece of bread with a little butter on one side and some peanut butter on the other side. Then I grilled it up, heated up some tomato soup, and voila: a delicious (and filling) sandwich. Yum.
So, I've been thinking about the English language. Specifically, spelling. English spelling is, to put it bluntly, like a group of three year-olds at a type writer. This causes problems for everyone, from natives to learners. So, what could the changes be? Simple, we could make it more phonetic. That fact, however, can cause problems. For one, it can be a lidl hard to understand. Smal werdz look difrent and sum werdz ar speld difrent. Anther issue is that pronunciation varies by region, so any change to spelling would naturally favor one region over anther and, inevitably, would lead to a rather large number of potential spellings of words, destroying the hard work of Webster and the like in the 19th century. Lastly, in terms of comprehension, spellings can do a great job of showing us the difference between homonyms. Take, for example, principle and principal. "The principal's new principle was about stealing. I like the principle." From this example, we can easily tell that the person in question likes the policy. However, if they were spelled the same by a set of rules, "the principle's new principle was about stealing. I like the principle." We have no idea if the speaker in question likes the new policy, or is considering something else. With all of this in mind, while I am sure that English would be easier to learn if, you know, it actually had rules with fewer exceptions than examples (looking at you, "I before E"), it might make it a bit harder to understand.

In terms of weird and funny stories for the week:
In one of my classes, one of the students drew a fetus on the board, and said that it was another student. Middle School students come up with the weirdest insults. Anyway, I realized that I would never get another opportunity like this, so I taught them the word fetus. How could I not?

Monday, July 7, 2014

Ep 41. Two for One

So, as I sit down here to write
I find my light is much less bright
and after I go flip the switch
I find that I then have an itch
And after that I deftly scratch
I wander if a 'mon I'll catch
and so with many things to do
the blog gets left behind, oh shoo...

So, I missed a week (no, say it ent so). That means that this week, I will be doing double duty. That's right, four days of updates instead of two. So, starting in no particular order:

Monday, June 30: For the most part, this was a hermiting day. I did a little cleaning, a little piano playing, a little bit of this, a little bit of that, but on the whole not much. That all changed at the end of the day, when I went out to have dinner with a good friend. Sadly, I got a little lost on the way there (NNNOOOOOOO!!!!) But arrived on time...at the wrong place.
We had agreed to meet on the top floor of a book store. However, unknown to me, there were two different iterations of that book store in Shinjuku. Expletive. However, we eventually met up and made it to the restaurant only a tad later than planned. I will start by saying that it was a very lovely restaurant, both in decor and in food options. That's right, they don't use meat. They do use fish--it's living animal protein, but sure, even in the US some people keep it in a different category--but nothing that you'd find in a kids book on farm animals. The food truly was exquisitely good, as though my taste buds were finally quenched after months of thirst. I had forgotten how good actual vegetarian options can taste.
That's definitely one of the things about Japan that I have noticed. In general the populous has very little imagination when it comes to vegetables. You can boil them, fry them, pickle them, or eat them, but no matter what you do your vegetable will always look like a vegetable. Back in the states, the food fairies have discovered that, although many people like the idea of a vegetarian lifestyle, they don't want to actually give up eating meat. Why? Because some meat tastes good (I would like to note here that, to my tastes, steak always has and always will be absolutely 100% revolting). Which is why America has such amazing things as veggie burgers, veggie corn dogs, and--dare I dream--vegetarian ribs, sans bone to break the teeth. There are even vegetarian restaurants and...well, I should stop thinking about this before I drool any more on my computer.

Monday, July 07(told you no order): Not a lot to say here, just more hermitting. And cleaning. And some doodling. Oh, and I went to see another movie. Normally, going to see a movie on a Monday is an exercise in solitude. The theaters are far from packed, and in general everything is relaxing. Not so, surprisingly, at the first showing of the day. Apparently Monday mornings are the time to go see a movie in Japan. Still, we got seats and enjoyed ourselves as usual. What really surprised me is that almost four months after its initial release, they are still showing Frozen in theaters over here. I get it, this is a fun movie, and I love singing the songs, but dear freaking heebie-jeebiekins people, this is not some fantabulous classic. Like I said, I enjoy that movie immensely and love singing the songs. However, I do have a LAF (Life After Frozen), and I seriously believe that most people will as well.

Sunday, June 29: Not going to lie, this was a bit of a long day. It was really fun, but also really long. I have a friend who works in Akita, far to the north of Tokyo, but she came down to Tokyo for her birthday. As such, I spent the whole day with her. We started at the Pokemon Center, which was as hectic as usual. It was also as fun as usual, with a lot of great nerd stuff. We then had lunch in the park across the street and just...chatted. It's one of the things that I do really miss from the states. Don't get me wrong, I can chat with my Japanese friends, but I always have to enter my, "careful" mode where I have to keep my language relatively simple and free of idioms. It really is amazing how many idioms we use without even realize it, but all are a no-no when talking to someone still learning the language.
After lunch, we went to Ueno zoo. The animals were really active (minus the sun bear, as usual). A penguin was molting, and I must say that nothing is more depressing to look at than a molting penguin. They look absolutely miserable, and itchy, and like they are generally having a good day. Really, I wanted to do nothing more than to go over to him and pluck out all of his little feathers to make him feel better. Less sad, but depressing to look at none the less, was a shedding brown bear. He also looked so sad and kept scratching himself against everything in the cave...ugh! It makes me glad that humans don't go through that.
The animals were very active for the most part. The polar bears and seals were swimming, and a lioness was on a rock roaring at everyone who went by. The most packed place, however, was the tiger enclosure. The tiger was cleaning itself, and had decided that the best place to do so was against the glass of the enclosure. Everyone wanted to get a picture of a tiger licking itself. All of the adults were pushing and shoving to get a view, while all of the children were shouting, "miranai, miranai" (I can't see, I can't see). Thankfully we got out of there quickly, but man what an adventure.
Following the zoo, we went to dinner and met up with some of her friends. We went to a theme restaurant, which are rather popular here in Japan. Basically, it's a restaurant with an interesting decor. Some of the ones that I have heard about are Gundam, Anime, or even Maid restaurants. This one was a hospital jail themed restaurant. This basically means that the restaurant looks filthy, with people eating in cages and all of the servers dressed in medical gear. Inevitably, there was a, "prison break," or an utterly terrifying few minutes. I hate being scared, to the extent that I tend to avoid horror movies with a passion. That being said, on the whole it was enjoyable (even if the pickings were slim. Yay french fries and...More french fries), though I will probably never go back. I even made a new friend; he's a socially awkward introvert, so we naturally got on great. Nothing makes an introvert more talkative than someone who shares their pain.

Sunday June 6 (the last day): So, yesterday was (no surprise after so many people) hermitting until early evening, when I went over to a student's house for dinner. He is one of my kids who went abroad and then came back, so his English is rather good. How this came about was that a couple of weeks ago we had open house lessons, where the parents could come, watch, and see what we do. I was talking with his parents after the lesson, and they invited me over. I must admit, I was very nervous. I have never done anything like this--going to one of my student's houses--and I wasn't sure how to act or dress. I decided that, at least for this first get together, being more formal would be better than casual. I also decided to go with what I knew, so I brought a gift and a thank you card.
The results: I am really hoping that things went well. I might have stayed to long (I don't know), and I might have dressed too formal (ibid), but I just don't know. At the end they asked if I wanted to do this again, and I think that it would be a lot of fun. These are such nice people, and their son is very good in my class and they could all be a very good friends.
The experience: First, their apartment is, incidentally, in the next building over. By American standards, it's fairly small, especially for three people. In fact, back in the states, it would probably be a one-person apartment, or a smaller two person apartment (going off of my sister's apartments). Having said that, I have found that people don't need as much space as most Americans seem to think we do. I am in no way saying that one room for seven people, a la early 20th century America was the way to go, but that I actually think there apartment was a really nice size. And it was a really nice apartment. They have done a great job of decorating it and making it feel really homy. Plus, it has everything a person could possibly need: a small kitchen, a few rooms, a balcony, etc. All in all, I really liked their apartment.
Next, the food. Being a vegetarian in Japan is its own special kind of heck, because of all the many multitude of things that one must watch out for. These people were kind enough to make food that I could actually eat, and all of it was absolutely delicious. American food--though very imaginative in the faux department--is never the most flavorful of culinary delights. This food was all so flavorful and amazingly delicious. Being a foreigner, they were surprised that I don't mind natto (fermented soy beans) too much, though only in small amounts. With so much scrumptious food, I could only try a little bit of everything, but it was all so good I wish that I had the stomach space for more. His mom is such a great cook! I need to learn how to cook more Japanese food.
Lastly, the conversation. We talked about many things. As is expected, they were just curious about me. I was probably a bit more formal than I needed to be (new people always seem to bring out Mr. Manners), but the conversation was really good. I enjoyed hearing about their life and their experience living in a foreign country. I showed them my residency card, and instead of doing the reaction that I mostly get (really? this thing exists?) they showed me theirs from their time abroad. All that I can say is that I really hope that they enjoyed having me over, and that I hope I wasn't too much of a bother on them.
One last note on last night: I decided to go for an evening constitutional. I quickly ran inside to put away my nice shirt, and then dashed outside before it got too late. As I was walking down the "hall" (for lack of a better word) to the stairs, the bushes below suddenly began to move, and shake in a terrifying fashion. Immediately, I froze as a single word popped into my head. Raptors! A few moments later, I peeked over to find the bushes below doing the terrifying tango, yet there were no animals in site. suddenly, a small form shot out of the branches, followed by a couple more. I was right, but off by a few million years worth of evolution. Apparently, my foot falls had disturbed some birds resting in the bushes, causing them to panic and swarm a bit. However, when I returned, I found them bushes immoveable, no matter how much I walked. Why? Well, it clearly wasn't that the bushes were empty, because I could see the little blighters hopping from branch to branch occasionally. No, the issue this time was a cat, who was sitting under the branches, staring at them. I have no idea what transpired next (I secretly believe that they broke out into a musical dance number on the importance of friendship) but it was still the most terrifying thing that I have seen in a while. It also speaks volumes that I have apparently transitioned from thinking, "monsters" to thinking, "raptors" in an event like that.

Well, this has been another adventure in the austentatious. If you liked me, tell your friends; if you hated me, tell your enemies; and if you don't care then tell everyone. And now, good night.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Ep 40. Unexpected Itty Bitties


I am a rather curious individual. As such, when my curiosity is peaked I simply must investigate,
The door
no matter what. So, what has peaked my interest this time in the land of the largest city? I will give three hints. 1) They are really small. 2) I can guarantee that at least one person who reads this sentence had one, and it's highly likely that someone does. 3) The most impressive specimen they had was about 8.8 meters (28.87 feet) long. It was an enormous tapeworm taken out of a person. I went to a parasite museum. It was so completely gross and so utterly cool; but I was not alone on my endeavor. I managed to convince a co-worker to come with me to this (free admission) museum. Did she enjoy it as much as myself? Probably not. But I don't care. They had so many specimens placed out, each lovingly labeled (in Japanese), and some placed in handy charts to show what part of the body they came from. On top of that, they have a gift shop. They have t-shirts. I know what my next paycheck is going to.
And now, pictures (yes, some are gross):



Some old notebooks.

Oooh, head lice and crabs

In case you were thinking about lunch...

Aren't they pretty?
That thing was almost 30 feet long. And it was inside of someone.

The museum is in a part of time called Meguro, which I had never been to before. I must say that it feels as a very western part of Tokyo. The styles of the buildings and streets felt more like Portland than any other place I had been to, and my co-worker and I saw many mixed race couples. The sidewalks, which normally are skinny at best and non-existent at work, were broad and colorful with trees planted every few feet. There was even a median with (gasp) plant life. Coupled with all of this greenery were many fine establishments of an exotic nature, such as an English pub and the single most hipster Starbucks that I have ever seen. From the wooden tables populated with young people (all had glasses, and all had a certain, fruity brand of laptop) to the enormous tapestry hanging on the far wall enmeshed with exotic, almost South American patterns, everything about this place screamed of the counter-culture scene of Portland. That Starbucks, coupled with the Carribean tapas bar down the way (complete with all of the staff having dreadlocks) gave the whole area a very bohemian feel. I shall need to see what else I can draw from it.
A nice river view.


Like I said, hipster.



Wide sidewalks and trees

And a leafy median.



After having gone out the day before, I wanted to stay in today. I woke up, and a message from my sister reminded me that a certain, global event was ongoing. So, I turned on my TV, and what did I find? Team USA playing against...I had no idea. I couldn't quite catch the Japanese of their team name. But both teams seemed to be doing well, and I think that the announcer was excited. Anyway, I wasn't really paying attention, because I was talking with friends. And, for a few minutes, I wasn't really paying attention to that, because I had opened up my burnable bin only to find that it was filled with fruit flies and their offspring. Now, as evidenced by the previous day, I am more than happy to go to museums and zoos and stare at ucky itty bitties until my skin crawls. When they get in my home, though, that is another story. Those few minutes were my frantic need to get those bugs out of my house as fast as flippingly possible. It worked, but I had a lot of cleanup to do with them. The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, and as usual I got different cleaning done than I was anticipating. Ah well, there is next weekend.

One last thing, before tales of the week. I went out to a nikuyaki (meat frying) place with my co-workers. Obviously, I didn't partake in the meat part of the event, but I still enjoyed myself a lot. Basically, everyone sits around the table, and they bring out these ginormous grills to use.
Caution: hot

The meat is then brought to the table, and you fry it yourself. According to my co-workers, they had quite a selection; everything from tongue, to cutlets, to offal. Everyone had a lot of fun talking and laughing, and then suddenly my two foreign co-workers and I share a look. A song had come on, but it couldn't be that song. No, no way, and then, to confirm what we all could not believe, in the middle of this nice restaurant, blaring over the speakers, we heard, "I'm too sexy for my," and the three of us just lost it. The music that night was just overall an eclectic variety, from many decades and genres. All that I can say is that it is really nice to work with people who one can enjoy going out to eat with.
Somehow, I just cannot see a place like this taking off in the states. Not only do we cut our meat too thick (the Japanese like their cooked flesh nice and thin) but either someone would burn themselves, or the sheer liability insurance needed for it would be too high, or people wouldn't understand what to do, etc. The point is, that something so simple and local over here would have so many hurdles in the US as to make it almost untenable.


In terms of classes this week, there are some good stories:
1) I taught one of my 3rd/4th grade classes a simple clapping game. Boy was that a mistake. They enjoyed it so much that they were doing it with me, their classmates, their desks, etc as I was trying to teach. Lesson learned, think about how to turn these things into a more connected activity before I teach it to them.

2) My 5th/6th graders got an interesting set of vocab this week. The sentences were about being passed something, in this case tools that could be found in anyone's garage. Things like a saw, axe, hammer, or even a shovel. Apparently we were learning how to become serial killers this week. On another note, because hammer was a word this week, I spent a good deal of time telling students to, "touch your hammer." And then praising them for it. I think that I giggled every time.

3) Junior High classes. I love this age group (particularly the oldest ones, who are roughly the same age as freshmen in high school), love love love working with that age group. I can connect with them, I can make things fun and productive. It's just a great group. And I have a story from all three of my classes.
In one (kids who lived abroad and then came back, so they have really high English) we made a sport. This is such a cool sport. So, there are five teams of twenty people each. For a uniform, everyone has to wear a samurai outfit, and everyone has to be constantly holding hands. The object of the game is to get the ball (American football shape, two meters in length) into the goal of one of the four opposing teams. But there is a catch: all the players of a given team must be constantly holding hands. As such, the players cannot use their hands and must instead use their feet or heads. It sounds like a lot of fun,
In another (8th grade age) we are talking about our dreams. The students did a great job coming up with ideas to use. One wrote, "to fly in the sky." So we were doing an activity to get/ give advice from other students, and the one tells another the dream, "I want to fly in the sky." The response was surprisingly clever, but not quite what I wanted them to say, "then you need to die." I kind of had to step in. That particular student is really great about being really creative (when I was modeling the activity, that particular student told me that I should want to be God) but there's only so far that we can go. So I didn't shut the student down too much (considering the culture, this was a truly amazing idea), but just told the student to try and say something nicer.
In another one (Freshman in High school level), we played a game that I had used in improv. How this game works is that the first person writes a sentence (sentence1). The second person draws a picture of sentence1 (picture1). That person then folds the paper to hide sentence1, and hands the paper to the third person. The third person then must try to guess sentence1 from picture1. Lather, rinse, repeat. They really liked this game. It let them be creative, and laugh at where these things can go. Meanwhile, I like it because I can correct their writing and gives them something concrete to draw on. The best one of mine started with, "Japan wins the world cup," -> "Human meets space man" -> "The man fights a giant robot." I will definitely be doing this again.
 Before I go, I have two more pictures to share:
An overall gorgeous sunset by the train station.

The most beautiful lily-pad that I could find.


Well, this has been another adventure in the austentatious (complete with pictures [in color]). If you liked it, tell your friends; if you hated it, tell your enemies; and if you didn't care either way, then tell everyone. Good night.